The Can Opener Boy Translations

Asking For Help

2011-05-01T14:41:00.000-07:00

Asking for help is not always easy. Especially when it is help I know I don't really need. It's about not being lazy; not shirking. It's about integrity. Anyone who has a 3 year old child (or has been one!) has learned this lesson: sometimes it is important to do something just by myself, just to prove I can. Not to prove it to anyone else; simply to prove it to me.

That's what running has been like for me. I started running in June of 2008 and the changes I've seen within myself have been nothing short of remarkable. Miraculous, really.

When I set out to run the Portland Marathon in October 2010, and various people asked if I would be running for charity I knew it was something I just could not do. As noble and good as it would be, it just did not feel right in my heart. Running for a cause would certainly add motivation to my training, but it would also cloud things somehow. Selfish as it might sound, I didn't want to run for anyone else.

I had to do this for myself.

Once I'd run the marathon, and began to think about running another, I was surprised to find the idea of running for charity was still something I did not want to do. I was really hoping to get in to the 2011 NYC Marathon via their lottery system ('cause I'm nowhere near fast enough to get a guaranteed entry based on skill/timing!). Wanting badly to run in NYC though, I told myself I'd run for charity as a back-up plan: something I'd resort to as a way to get a guaranteed entry only if I had to. I felt that way right up until the drawing on Wednesday 27th April, when the website confirmed my fears: I had not been selected via the lottery.

I knew there would be perhaps 100,000 people or more who would be swooping down onto the official charities so I'd have to be quick. I took a break at work and began to actually look through the various charities I could apply to run for. That's when my heart began to change.

I realized there's another reason asking for help is difficult for me: it feels like an admission that I am not good enough, not bright enough, not strong enough. Reading through the charity webpages reminded me that, well, I'm not! I'm not good enough alone! No one is. I'm not bright enough to figure everything out on my own. No one is. And I'm not strong enough to get through this life alone. No one is.

Once I embraced that next-level measure of my own weakness, and allowed the humility to clear my perspective, I realized something else: Asking for help is sometimes easy:

If I have dropped a heavy load, it is hard to ask for help to pick it back up and carry it onward.

But If someone else has dropped a heavy load, and I stop to help them pick it up and carry it onward -- and in doing so realize that this load is so heavy I can't be the only one to help, then asking someone to help me as I help another...that comes easily.

So here I am. Asking for your help.

As I browsed through the charities, one stood out to me. the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation (MMRF). As a Home Hospice RN by profession, I see the impact of this disease in my day-to-day work. But it is also personal for me. Cathy's mom died of multiple myeloma. She was only 68. Everyone who knew her tells stories of what an amazing woman she was. Vibrant, playful, compassionate, loyal, and loving to all. I wish I'd met her, but I never got the chance. You see, I met Cathy in May 1987, but multiple myeloma had already taken her mom's life in February of 1986. Her name was Josephine Mary (Fanucchi) Thompson -- and I'm running in her honor. I'm running so MMRF can help others beat this disease, get the chance to live to meet their family, and enjoy a full life.

Nearly 90% of every dollar donated to the MMRF goes directly to research!

Will you please support my participation in the 2011 New York City Marathon benefiting the MMRF? Your donation can help make the difference! I have made a commitment to raise at least $3000 by the race on Sunday November 6th. I need your help to get there! Please help as you can. It all adds up! On the right-hand side of my donations page you can select a suggested donation amount, or come up with whatever you feel comfortable donating. For those interested in a per-mile sponsorship, here's the math for you!

$1/mile = $26.20 total donation (x only 115 people = $3013!)
$2/mile = $52.40 total donation
$3/mile = $78.60 total donation
$4/mile = $104.80 total donation
$5/mile = $131.00 total donation

Would you please consider sponsoring me? It is as simple as following the link above.

For more information, to make sure your money is going to a good cause and a reputale charity, you can follow this link to the MMRF site, and there's an NBC Nightline interview and article here, a reprint of a New Yorker article discussing the creative business model of MMRF here and the ubiquitous Wiki link is here.
Thank you in advance for your support!
~ Keith

Death's Sting is Fleeting and Weak

2011-01-28T10:45:00.000-08:00

I find it hard to put into words the depths of feeling I'm experiencing right now. My long time-friend, mentor & spiritual example Mark Macallister took his own life earlier this month after a long battle with depression and chronic pain. He leaves behind his amazing wife Jody and two beautiful and wonderful kids, Levi & Bree. This picture shows their family together and at peace.

My heart hurts quite a bit right now due to the tragic, senseless and sudden loss of so bright a light as Mark shone to the world around. He was gregarious and compassionate and had friends in such a wide range of places I was almost always surprised when someone I knew said "Oh, Mark? Yeah, I've known Mark for years". He would never be the one to shine a light on himself, always demuring and deferring to others in a humility that was so natural and secure.

Mark exemplified to me the heart of love and care for others that is the best description of the word "Pastor" I know. It was primarily his influence in my life that opened to me the possibility of giving my life away to others in this pastoral way as well.

Living as followers of Jesus, Mark and I shared a hope that there is something beyond this life -- something which defies description although better men than me have certainly tried. I do take comfort in knowing Mark is "in a better place" although that rings so hollow in my ears because his current experience is so much richer than that little phrase could possibly convey, but also beacuse that little phrase sounds so trite and weak when placed against the pain of his loss to my heart.

I do also take comfort in knowing that death itslef was never supposed to be part of our story -- and so it will be done away with in the final analysis. And so I have a deep appreciation for John Donne's classic poem as well. I'd heard the opening line many times of course, but seeing "Wit" with Emma Thompson really galvanized within me an appreciation for the epochs-long wrestling match with death we humans have undergone.

Death be not Proud
By John Donne
1572-1631

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Requiesact in pace Mark, until we meet again when death itself has been put away.

~ Keith

A Week at an Abbey

2011-01-23T06:46:00.000-08:00

I recently spent a week at an Abbey in Mt. Angel, OR.

I thought I was going there for some solitude; some silence. Apparently I was wrong.

I did spend a significant amount of time alone, and being quiet, and that was nice. It was restful and restorative -- but I learned some things about solitude and silence I was not aware of before. Some I learned from my reading, and some I learned from just being there, alone. A Monk's room is sometimes referred to as a cell -- and it has been said

Go into your cell,
and your cell will teach you
everything you need to know

I wish I had more to say about it here, but I had such rich time journaling and reading and being alone with God that I feel no need. =)

If there are specific questions anyone has I am happy to answer them either here on the blog in comments, or privately in eMail -- but simply chronicling my experience here (which is what I might have done in the past) strikes me as something which would somehow take away from the experience.

~ Keith

Happy Holidays

2010-12-02T09:45:00.000-08:00

'Tis the season, so here is my quasi-annual post relating my thoughts on saying "Happy Holidays" vs "Merry Christmas" -- especially in the context of all the ruckus from well-meaning (if closed-minded) people who complain the former limits their free speech and who insist the latter is somehow better.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I like Thanksgiving. I also like celebrating Christmas, and the start of a New Year. I also like learning about other cultures and traditions. Channukah, Kwanzaa, etc.

So am I the only one who doesn't really mind saying "Happy Holidays" to people?

I mean, sure, I'm a person who is trying to live in the love of Jesus, so for me the signifigance of Christmas is such that this one holiday is at the center of my holiday season. But I know that's not true for everyone.

Me wishing a "Merry Christmas" to people who don't celebrate it is like me saying "Happy Birthday!" to someone when it isn't their birthday -- isn't it? And isn't it rude for me to press the point by saying "Well, I don't care if it's not your birthday -- I'm celebrating it..." And isn't it even more rude to just assume that everyone I know thinks like I do, and celebrates the same things -- and isn't it even more rude for me to somehow imply they should, by making a big deal of only saying "Merry Christmas", or griping when an employer encourages the use of "Happy Holidays" instead?

And anyway -- aren't "holidays" really just "holy days" and if "holy" means (among other things) "set apart" and "special" then why all the fuss when employers encourage people not to say "Merry Christmas" and instead only "allow" them to say "Happy Holidays" -- isn't that a nicer thing to say anyway -- more inclusive?

Maybe it's just me.

~ Keith

A Joyful Surprise

2010-11-13T06:56:00.001-08:00

I had an experience recently which made me think (among other things) "I should blog this!"

Life, as someone said, is what happens when you're making other plans. Here it is a week or more later and I'm only blogging because I woke up at 0421 and couldn't go back to sleep. I guess now is the time.

I was driving home from work and had stopped at a red light. As I pulled up behind the car in front of me I noticed a young man in his late teens or early twenties, in the back seat on the passenger's side, staring vacantly out the back window. As I stopped he sort of woke up and saw me seeing him staring into space. He looked embarrassed and turned to face front. End of story, or so I thought.

Then he turned back to look at me and smiled, covering his mouth with his hand and sort of shrugging. Then he turned back facing front...and began laughing hilariously. "Great," I thought "some punk kid is being a goofball and messing with me".

Then he turned around again and actually waved at me, smiling this big goofy grin. The stress of the day was starting to wear off, and my first impression of the kid was wiped away as I saw the genuineness in his eyes. I smiled and waved back, and was surprised to see his eyes get big, his smile get bigger and, as he turned back to face front, he was actually rocking back and forth and bopping excitedly up and down in his seat. At this point it became clear to me he was not just a goofy teen, he was someone special.

These three brief encounters all happened within 20-30 seconds. As the light turned green and we moved forward, he turned around again, and smiled and waved. I smiled and waved back and he again responded with obvious delight, seemingly undiminished by the repetition. This went on for about 3-4 minutes, which added up to at least a dozen smiles and waves. And each and every time he responded with the same level of surprise and physically-expressed joy. Let me tell you, my stressful day was forgotten! My path home had me change lanes to the left and as I passed their car, the young man looked back. When he saw I was no longer behind him his face fell a bit, but as he turned to face front, he saw me passing them -- so he smiled and waved at me through the side window and sure enough, as I smiled and waved back, he responded with equal glee.

It had really made my day and I was reveling in the wonder of it all when I came to another red light and, to my surprise, found I was somehow behind the same car again! The young man looked back and in a split second I saw his expression change from expectancy (thinking he'd see whoever he had been playing the wave and smile game with for the past few minutes) through despair (nope, that person is gone now) and then into near luminescence as he recognized me from a few moments before and realized we had been re-connected.

He waved at me and I waved back. This time, though, he also flashed me a peace sign. I sent one back his way and as he turned to face front not only his face lit up; his body was hopping and jumping up and down so energetically I thought he was going to hurt himself!! We played the smile/wave/peace-sign game for a few minutes and then I changed lanes again, this time to the right. Our paths began to diverge but he followed me through the side window for another block or so. By then he was on the other side of a gas station but, somehow, he managed to make eye contact again for one last smile, wave, and peace-sign offering. I sent them back his way and faced forward. The clock on my dashboard told my brain only around 5-7 minutes had gone by, but my heart disagreed, telling my soul I'd just experienced an eternity of joy and real human connection.

I chose to allow my soul to believe my heart.

If I close my eyes I can still see that young man's face, full of joyful abandon and a gloriously contagious smile.

~ Keith

Liminal Times

2010-11-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

Today is 1st November, 2010 -- my 45th birthday.

Yesterday was Hallowe'en, today is All Saints' Day

The transition from yesterday into today is a liminal time -- the ancient Celts & Picts (my ancestors) believed this to be the most powerful of all liminal days of the year -- for all the historic and sociological reasons you can read about in Wikipedia link above, but all the more for me today.

This has been a year of transitions:

From: Field-staff RN,
To: RN Manager
-- 4th January 2010
From: Vineyard church-planting pastor,
To: Unaffiliated Jesus-follower
-- 1st September 2010
From: Runner,
To: Marathoner
-- 10th October 2010
From: Early Forties,
To: Middle Age
-- Today!

Today I have moved past my mid-forties; today I am officially middle-aged. You know what? I'm totally OK with that! In fact I love that! Like John Denver said in Poems, Prayers, & Promises:

It turns me on to think of growing old

I have always loved Autumn and Winter. The long nights and cold wet days. The deep abiding rest the world moves into. All this really feeds my soul. I identify with these changes and appreciate the subtleties and vagaries of liminal times.

Here's to liminal today, and here's to liminal me!

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 23 of 23

2010-10-30T13:46:00.000-07:00

Week twenty-three is now history. I completed the marathon training program, and ran a marathon.

Wow.

On my 43rd birthday back in 2008 I ran 10 miles. It felt great.

Monday 11/1/2010 is my 45th birthday, and I'm going for a run. How far? I have no idea. How long? I have no idea.

I'm not going to wear a watch or a heart-rate monitor. I'm not going to plot a course or go back and try and figure it out on Google Maps. I'm just going to go for a run. When I get tired I'll stop and walk. When I feel like it I will run again. When I feel like being done, I'll come home. This will not be a training run, it will be a recreational run. My training runs are usually enjoyable -- but on Monday, that is going to be one great run!

Thanks so much for reading all these posts and following my progress. As I mentioned in my last post, I have a couple races already scheduled, and I'm hoping to break 2:00 in the half-marathon. I don't plan to blog that training, but I'll post from time to time if something significant happens.

As usual, I have the "boring stuff" posted below. But in case you're interested, if you add up all my training from 24th May through 30th October I ran over 530 miles, taking over 92 hours, and burned nearly 70,000 calories. To put that into perspective: if I started running at midnight on a Monday morning, I would finish on Thursday at 8:17 pm -- and I would have run from my house to the California border, and then back again, and then gone for another little 23.5 mile run! And, if all the calories came only from burning fat, I'd have lost 19.8 pounds...of fat!

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 23 totals:
Running Distance: 19.83 mi
Running Time: 03:25:52 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 11.6 mph
Avg HR: 147 bpm
Max HR: 181 bpm
Calories burned: 2,529

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 23's "long" run of 5 miles.

Sum totals for the 23 weeks:
Running Sessions: 97
Running Distance: 531.51 mi
Running Time: 92:16:55 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 69,285

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 102.53 mi
September: 120.72 mi
October: 85.45 mi (1st thru 30th)

Previous week's totals:
Week 22 totals:
Running Distance: 13.45 mi
Running Time: 02:19:46 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 14.1 mph
Avg HR: 147 bpm
Max HR: 177 bpm
Calories burned: 1,710

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 22's "long" run of 4 miles.

~ Keith

Portland Marathon 2010 -- reflections and memories

2010-10-23T22:56:00.002-07:00

As I sit and type this, the marathon is a full 2 weeks in my rearview mirror. I had some computer glitches so I was unable to blog before now. As a result, all the stuff that was fresh in my mind is now not quite as fresh. Maybe that is a good thing because what has stuck with me are the few memories that perhaps are the most important. Here are the highlights.

First and foremost, the biggest highlight has to be accomplishing a goal that has been 2+ years in the coming. I can't tell you how it felt to cross that finish line and know that I'm not just a runner, I'm a marathoner. Me -- the pudgy un-athletic kid grew up into a guy who, at age 44 (45 next week!) broke 4:30 in my first marathon!

Another huge highlight (and major props) go to my wife Cathy for putting up with not only the mood swings of the last few weeks, but also my early-morning runs and early-evening bedtimes x 5+ months (not to mention hearing me rant about cross-training and rave about various running-related things all the time). She has been my number one fan and supporter.

Major props also go to Tom & Dawn Bartel for coming out and supporting me. They met me at around mile 1.5, and then showed up multiple other times on the course. Tom was also there rooting me on at about mile 26.1 -- just before I turned the corner and faced the finish line. It was so great to have them there as my own, personal cheering section! (And while she was not there for me specifically, a special nod goes to Janel Roden who surprised me late in the course with a hoot and a holler!)

Highlights of being out on the course were:

IT RAINED THE ENTIRE 4.5 HOURS I WAS ON THE COURSE! I absolutely love running in the rain so it was a phenomenal treat, and clear evidence that God loves me! =O)

The father/daughter pair running together.

The young woman who was running in honor of her uncle Doug who had died in the last year.

The 3-4 wheelchair racers I saw with heads down and super-buff arms propelling high-tech wheelchairs.

The huge crowds of spectators -- especially the ones who read my bib that said "My First" and cheered me on with "Lookin' good My First! You got this!" and stuff like that. Also the guy who gave me 10 style points for my heel-kick while crossing a bridge.

Not stopping to walk on the approach to the St. John's Bridge. That was cool to see all the other people stop and walk, but I didn't. I took plenty of walk breaks, but not there.

The multiple bands, and TONS of volunteers who handed out electrolyte drinks, and water, and gel and vaseline and stuff.

The other volunteers at the finish line who put a space-blanket around my shoulders, and a medal around my neck, and then gave me orange juice and other goodies while I was stil not quite in my right mind. Also huge props to the volunteers who were out so early taking our stuff and safely storing it away and then having it all organized so we could pick it up after the race!

The biggest props still go to Cathy. After crossing the finish line, and getting my medal and blanket, I wandered around aimlessly for a moment and heard this angelic voice calling my name. Cathy was there at the finish line behind a fence with the rest of the spectators, and had taken the two finish line photos below. She was in awe and said very nice things to and about me. She even gave me a through-the-fence smooch!

Here's a few shots from the race weekend.

I saw this at the expo and almost bought it!

Here I am the night before, all geared up with no place to go (yet!)

Just before crossing the finish line (click the pic & zoom in)

Just as I'm crossing the finish line (click the pic & zoom in)

My number one fan and supporter!

My ad-hoc coach, and encourager Tom!

For the nerds like me, you can see the Garmin data for my run here.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 22 of 23

2010-10-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

Week twenty two was a little funny. My body got so used to running so much, and now I've had so much rest and recovery, one of the hardest things is not to run too fast. I actually have to *work* not to run too fast (which, for me, is around 8:45 or so -- instead of my usual 9:45-ish)!

I have my sights set on my next two races. First, the Shellburg Falls Train Run. Then, I'm going to go for the Cascade Half Marathon again, and this time, see if I can break the 2:00 mark. Last year I hit 2:02, and would have made the 2:00 mark but sort of bonked in the last 2-3 miles. You can see that race here. Seriously -- look at my splits -- I was *so* close, until those last few miles. But now I'm another year stronger and another year better-trained, and I'm hoping to be better at following the training program this time. It's a bit abbreviated since I will only have 11 weeks instead of a full 16, but we'll see! This time it will include some track work, and I'll be doing some core work as well on my cross-training days.

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 22 totals:
Running Distance: 13.45 mi
Running Time: 02:19:46 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 14.1 mph
Avg HR: 147 bpm
Max HR: 177 bpm
Calories burned: 1,710

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 22's "long" run of 4 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 511.69 mi -- I broke 500 miles!
Running Time: 88:51:02 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 66,756

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 102.53 mi
September: 120.72
October: 65.63 (1st thru 16th)

Previous week's totals:
Week 21 totals:
Running Distance: 30.23 mi
Running Time: 05:08:57 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.9 mph
Max Speed: 10.2 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 173 bpm
Calories burned: 3,950

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 21's "long" run of 3 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 21 of 23

2010-10-16T12:00:00.001-07:00

Week twenty one was not really a training week as much as a race day and a recovery week!

I ran the Portland Marathon on Sunday 10-10-10, and my next-scheduled training run for recovery week was not until Saturday 10-16. I could have done some cross-training but, well, we all know how I've felt about cross-training up to this point, so why break a good streak. I do plan to cross-train next time I train for something...which will be soon. (more on that later)

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 21 totals:
Running Distance: 30.23 mi
Running Time: 05:08:57 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.9 mph
Max Speed: 10.2 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 173 bpm
Calories burned: 3,950

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 21's "long" run of 3 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 498.24 mi
Running Time: 86:31:16 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 65,046

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 102.53 mi
September: 120.72
October (1st thru 16th): 52.18

Previous week's totals:
Week 20 totals:
Running Distance: 15.01 mi
Running Time: 02:36:00 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 13.7 mph
Avg HR: 141 bpm
Max HR: 178 bpm
Calories burned: 1,889

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 20's "long" run of 20 minutes.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 20 of 23

2010-10-09T08:58:00.001-07:00

Week twenty is now over -- my last official training run before the marathon was this morning.

Tomorrow is race day.

I've done all my reading and resting. I've done all my training and strategizing. Now I just need to go run the race; run *my* race.

You can follow my progress as of 0700 Pacific Time tomorrow, 10-10-10, by putting in my name and bib number (790) here.

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 20 totals:
Running Distance: 15.01 mi
Running Time: 02:36:00 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 13.7 mph
Avg HR: 141 bpm
Max HR: 178 bpm
Calories burned: 1,889

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 20's "long" run of 20 minutes.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 468.00 mi

That's Salem, OR to Sequim, WA -- via Seattle, WA, & thru both Vancouver, BC & Victoria, BC!!!

Running Time: 81:22:19 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 61,096

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 102.53 mi
September: 120.72
October (1st thru 9th): 21.94

Previous week's totals:
Week 19 totals:
Running Distance: 17.52 mi
Running Time: 03:00:44 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 22.6 mph
Avg HR: 147 bpm
Max HR: 178 bpm
Calories burned: 2,231

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 19's long run of 6 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 19 of 23

2010-10-02T10:40:00.003-07:00

Week nineteen -- one week to go. 8 days from now I will be on the course, giving it my all. Just 4 more runs: Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday for 30 minutes, and then Saturday for 20 minutes. Today's 6-miler was a walk in the park, and while my nerves are wondering "can I really do it?" my mind and spirit are repeating what everything I've read and heard has told me: "Trust your training" We'll see!

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 19 totals:
Running Distance: 17.52 mi
Running Time: 03:00:44 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 22.6 mph
Avg HR: 147 bpm
Max HR: 178 bpm
Calories burned: 2,231

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 19's long run of 6 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 453.00 mi
Running Time: 78:46:19 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 59,207

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 102.53 mi
September: 120.72
October (1st thru 2nd): 6.94

Previous week's totals:
Week 18 totals:
Running Distance: 19.52 mi
Running Time: 03:18:57 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.9 mph
Max Speed: 12.2 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 180 bpm
Calories burned: 2,479

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 18's long run of 10 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 18 of 23

2010-09-26T12:24:00.001-07:00

Week eighteen -- the taper has started! Today I ran "only" 10 miles. It was a harder run than I expected. Not sure why that is, although in part it may be because last week I ran 20! Also, if you look at my splits I went out a little fast. I've decided that, although I don't have a specific time goal for the marathon, I would like to keep the first 13 miles at right around 10:00/mile. That will leave me some room in the last half of the race to do some negative splits if I feel like it. We'll see!

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 18 totals:
Running Distance: 19.52 mi
Running Time: 03:18:57 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.9 mph
Max Speed: 12.2 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 180 bpm
Calories burned: 2,479

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 18's long run of 10 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 435.47 mi
Running Time: 75:45:34 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 56,976

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 102.53 mi
September: 110.13 (1st thru 25th!) -- my 3rd consecutive 100-mile month

Previous week's totals:
Week 17 totals:
Running Distance: 39.28 mi
Running Time: 06:50:41 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.4 mph
Avg HR: 150 bpm
Max HR: 175 bpm
Calories burned: 5,088

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 17's long run of 20 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 17 of 23

2010-09-18T14:00:00.003-07:00

Week seventeen was momentous. My long-run was 20 miles -- the furthest I've ever run. (and my wife was away on business, and I had a tremendously busy week at work, which is why I'm almost a week late in posting this, as it is Saturday morning the following week, just before my 10-miler as I start my taper toward race day). My 20-miler was run at around the same time as my nephew Caleb was running the Equinox Ultra in Alaska where he makes his home. He's never run an ultra before -- this one is a 50k, and he's never even run a marathon before. He's one of those guys who came out of the birth canal with 2% body fat, and a natural inclination for anything athletic. I'd hate him for that, but it wasn't his fault to be born an athletic prodigy. Plus, he's one of the nicest guys in the world. And, I happen to know, he puked at the end of his run, which means he owes me $5! =O)

My 20-miler was tremendous practice for race day, for a couple different reasons.

On race day, I will also run further than I've ever run before.

The overall distance was a part of it, but not all.

I had the unexpected pleasure of meeting someone at around mile 5 who ran with me for awhile. We noted a number of similarities. Jack is also training for the Portland Marathon, which will be his second. We had roughly the same pace, so we chatted and got to know one another more. He's also been running only a couple years, which was nice, since we connected as newbies. There were differences though. Jack was also 60 -- a full 15 years older than me, and keeping up with me quite nicely, which was a little demoralizing, but I let it go. It was good practice -- one of the things we discussed while running along was how unique running is as a sport, in terms of the athletes who participate. Sure, the elites all have a certain look to them, but the rest of us in the pack? You can't really look at someone and say "Oh, man, I'm totally gonna beat that old overweight lady" -- you just might see her smiling away, zipping past you after the turn-around, looking fresh as a daisy. Also, you can't look at someone 15 years younger, carrying a lot less weight, and think "No way could I keep up with him!" -- 'cause here Jack and I were, trotting together, two middle-aged adult-onset athletes. So, as I prepare to run 26.2 in less than 3 weeks, it is good for me to remember that, like books & covers, runners can't be judged by outward appearances.

On race day, I will need to run *MY* race, not anyone else's.

Yes, I will pass some folks, but I will also be passed, and I need to not get so competitive that I allow myself to waste energy, either physical or mental. And speaking of energy...

Jack was a nice guy, and it was good to practice chatting while running sub-10:00 miles, with my usual 1-min walk break in between. But I'm used to running alone, and not using extra energy chatting. At around mile 10 our courses diverged and I was thankful to have the last half all to myself. I'd had a clif bar and a banana about 2 hours before starting, and a clif shot at mile 4 & 8. At mile 12 I had a caffeinated clif shot, and was feeling good; tired, but good. Around mile 15 I was getting very tired, and it didn't dawn on me until almost mile 16 that it was way past time to kick in the mental game. On my 16-miler and 18-miler, I was closer to the end by that point in the run, so it wasn't a big deal. This time it was different. I had further to go, but it was also simply another day, and I had to account for that as well. We al know the story about the frog in the pot. My tiredness had krept up on my so slowly that I forgot how much energy I *knew* I had left in me. Sort of like timing my fueling and hydration, I need to also time my mental game, and give myself little confidence-boosting reminders as I go.

On race day I will draw deep from inside myself to pull out all the stops and accomplish this goal

I can't let my body talk my mind into giving up. Quite the contrary, I need to use my mind to convince my body I have way more in me than I ever imagined, and this little 26.2 miler is only the beginning.

Now, I'm headed out the door to run a little 10-miler.

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 17 totals:
Running Distance: 39.28 mi -- almost double last week's!
Running Time: 06:50:41 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.4 mph
Avg HR: 150 bpm
Max HR: 175 bpm
Calories burned: 5,088 -- Whoa!

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 17's long run of 20 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 415.95 mi
Running Time: 72:26:37 h:m:s -- over 3 days of running!
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 54,497 -- Whoa!

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 102.53 mi
September: 90.62 (1st thru 18th!)

Previous week's totals:
Week 16 totals:
Running Distance: 20.9 mi
Running Time: 03:33:48 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.9 mph
Max Speed: 12.6 mph
Avg HR: 151 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 2,685

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 16's long run of 8 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 16 of 23

2010-09-12T16:29:00.001-07:00

Week sixteen was uneventful, which was fine by me. I got my 20-miler comin' up so it was nice not to have to focus too hard this week.

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 16 totals:
Running Distance: 20.9 mi
Running Time: 03:33:48 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.9 mph
Max Speed: 12.6 mph
Avg HR: 151 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 2,685

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 16's long run of 8 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 376.68 mi
Running Time: 65:35:55 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 49,409

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 102.53 mi
September: 51.34 (1st thru 11th!)

Previous week's totals:
Week 15 totals:
Running Distance: 37.47 mi
Running Time: 06:29:46 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 11.5 mph
Avg HR: 153 bpm
Max HR: 172 bpm
Calories burned: 4,833

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 15's long run of 18 miles.

~ Keith

Why I Remember 9/11

2010-09-11T10:15:00.005-07:00

Do you remember where you were on 11/22/1963?

Perhaps many of you reading this do not know the significance of that day -- it was the day President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. For decades that one question unified a nation. I was born after that date, although not long after. I remember hearing stories of where people were, what they were doing, how that one moment in time would forever be galvanized, burned into their psyche; into the psyche of an entire nation and world. It was a day when hope was lost, when dreams were shattered. But America remembered. In his famous inaugural address he had stirred the hearts of the nation with his challenge:

My fellow Americans: Ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country

America responded. We went to the moon and did other great things. For years people remembered where they were on 11/22 because it brought them back to the hopes and ideals of a better day.

As time wore on fewer and fewer Americans remembered 11/22. We had no one moment to hold us together. Until 9 years ago today. Now we have a new question to ask ourselves:

Do you remember where you were on 9/11/2001?

But why do we remember that date? I can think of several noble reasons. We remember the lives that were lost and grieve. We remember the lives that were saved by everyday heroism, and our hearts are uplifted. And we remember the unity in New York and elsewhere, when people who were complete strangers suddenly trusted one another, helped one another, were simply there for one another.

In the past 9 years we have also chosen to remember 9/11 for ignoble reasons. We remember the Islamic Extremist Terrorists who perpetrated the atrocity, and hate them for the injustice they wrought in pursuit of religious fundamentalism. We remember out of fear of complacency -- I humbly submit it is one thing to say "Remember..." it is quite another to say "Never forget!". We remember because we've allowed bitterness and misunderstanding to twist and wrench our unity into division. The beautiful togetherness New York and all of America experienced in the aftermath of 9/11 has somehow become less about "All of us together" and more about "US against THEM".

I'd like to propose 2 excellent reasons to remember 9/11 -- they are why I make it a point to remember 9/11.

To do this, though, I need you to hear me out on a couple things, so I appreciate your patience -- this will be a somewhat lengthy post, as editing for brevity has never been my strong suit. Also, things I say here will likely ruffle some feathers and anger people. Please understand me: I'm not writing this post to be inflammatory or argumentative. I'm simply choosing not to shy away from it, because I believe it is true.

Let me start by telling you a brief story -- see if you can figure out where I'm going.

Once upon a time in a beautiful and powerful land, people were shocked and outraged when hijackers, religious extremists bent on Holy War (the worst of all possible oxymorons) invaded a great and mighty city, laying waste to buildings and innocent people, as a way of saying "We reject what you have done to our world, and we're paying you back".

Now let me tell you the same story and see if you can pick up my subtle inference:

Once upon a time in a beautiful and powerful land, people were shocked and outraged when hijackers, religious extremists bent on Holy War (the worst of all possible oxymorons) invaded a great and mighty city, laying waste to buildings and innocent people, as a way of saying "We reject what you have done to our world, and we're paying you back".

The only difference is that thousands of years ago it was the Christian Extremist Terrorists who perpetrated the atrocity, in Jerusalem, to rout the evil muslims who had taken over the city.

THE FIRST REASON I REMEMBER

I think the first reason I remember 9/11 is to stay in touch with the fact that the US against THEM mentality has been around for a lot longer than the good ole' U.S. of A. -- and to remember that what happened on that day did not make THEM worse than US -- that what we lived through on that day did not somehow make US better than THEM. America is a great country, and I'm glad I was born here. But if I make remembering 9/11 something merely patriotic, I am missing the depth and gravity of history. If 9/11 is just a reason to wave a flag, I'm somehow cheapening the human history we all share with the peoples of the world.

Not long after 11/22/1963 came 4/4/1968, when Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated. I was in Memphis on that day. My parents were out bowling and my 4 sisters and I were at home. I don't have any of my own memories of that evening, but I remember it was a scary time for the city and for the country. Before his death, Dr. King had this to say about violence and hate.

The ultimate weakness of violence is that
it is a descending spiral,
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence you may murder the liar,
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.
Through violence you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

Yet somehow we stay fixed on US against THEM. US against THEM is ingrained in us. Ask any parent who is simply trying to drive across town, but has to deal with "He hit me!" which is, invariably countered with "HE hit ME FIRST!"

If we try to rationalize our hate and violence by claiming it is justifiable retaliation or, worse, somehow sanctioned by God, then we are being worse than childish -- we are being lunatics, cowards; idiots.

Which brings us to today. 9/11/2010. We remember -- but how and why do we remember? We have fanatics who want to burn the Qu'ran, and people putting patriotic images as their facebook profile pictures for a variety of reasons. And we have the raging controversy about "The Mosque at Ground Zero" which sounds more like "The Moth that Ate Chicago" or something equally blown out of proportion.

You wanna hear something controversial?

You wanna know what I think?

I think it is foolish that people are outraged by a building 2 blocks away from ground zero which will contain a section set aside for prayer and reflection, sponsored by an Islamic cultural center -- when if we are really concerned about injustice, what we really ought to have right at the center of ground zero is a memorial to the Native People who were swindled out of their land by the bullies who cloaked their greed in a false religious piety to "save" the "savages". In that memorial maybe we can include places of remembrance for all the hatred we've fomented and (woe is us -- actually encouraged our friends and taught our children) to spew against the Japs, the Krauts, the Chinks, the WOPs, the Niggers, the Kikes, the Spics, the Limeys, and the Pollacks. Don't forget the Queers, the Homos, the Fags, the Dykes, the Lesbos, the Hippies, the Gypsies, and the Frogs. And over in a corner, we could have a new section for the Ragheads and the Hajis.

I say we need a place to remember how awful we have been. How awful we have been. How awful WE have been. Oh my God,

How Awful We Have Been

to other human beings because THEY are not like US so we fear THEM and hate THEM and forget that we are them; they are us.

In that famous inaugural address President Kennedy invoked US against THEM imagery with almost every paragraph. At that time, it was the Commies, the Pinkos, the Marxists that were THEM (maybe we could have a section of my suggested ground zero memorial dedicated to THEM as well). Despite this, in the 60s & beyond, we as Americans did our best to remember the challenge, and we asked what we could do for our country. I suppose this may be why for so many, remembering 9/11 is about being patriotic, about being American.

But somehow we forgot President Kennedy's next line. Immediately after that challenge to his fellow Americans, he said

My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.

Freedom. That has such a depth of meaning, but I believe the deepest, truest meaning has to do with freedom from evil itself, and a freedom to love others.

Like President Kennedy, Dr. King also called us to a new hope; challenged us to a new mindset

Man was born into barbarism
when killing his fellow man
was a normal condition of existence.
He became endowed with a conscience.
And he has now reached the day
when violence toward another human being
must become as abhorrent as eating another's flesh.

Ancient tribes used to not only kill their enemies, but eat them, believing this would give them the strength their enemies had. Dr. King said that committing any violence against another human should make us as nauseated as the idea of eating their flesh.

Hmmmmm. I seem to recall reading about a teacher from long ago, before 9/11, before MLK or JFK, before the crusades. His name was Jesus and he had a large following; gaining steam. He said some controversial things though. One time, as recorded by his best friend John, he said this: "Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life". You can read the whole story in context here, but suffice it to say that one comment really freaked people out, as well it should. The end of that story says "From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him."

Jesus also said that even harboring hate against someone in my heart is the same as murdering them.

And Jesus, on the same night he was betrayed and sold into hands of his executioners by one of his followers, had one last meal with his closest friends. He used the bread and the wine that night as symbols and again invoked the imagery of eating his flesh and drinking his blood, as a way of somehow gaining his strength; his very life. And then (referring, I believe, to the common act of eating a meal together) he said this

As often as you do this, remember me

Many say Jesus called us to remember his sacrifice for us, and I suppose this is true. But when I "take communion" I am also remembering the fact that I am his betrayer; that violence lives inside me and I have a choice to follow love or hate. I remember that at my core I am deeply good and made in the image of my Maker -- but that image has been savagely torn and left to tarnish from disuse.

An ancient prophet named Isaiah had a mystically spiritual yet powerfully physical encounter with God. You can read about it here. When face to face with the Maker of All Things, his response was to say "Woe to me, for I am undone." Note -- the word "undone" literally means un-made, torn-apart, disintegrated. It means blown away: like either a child blowing away a wispy dandelion or a nuclear blast blowing away a city. So why was he so undone? He goes on and says "For I am a man of unclean lips, and I come from a people of unclean lips."

Did you catch that? He didn't point to anyone else and say "THEY did stuff to ME first!" He pointed to himself first, and identified with ALL people second.

America is a great country, and I'm glad I was born here. But if I make remembering 9/11 something merely patriotic, I am missing the depth and gravity of my own depravity. If 9/11 is just a reason to wave a flag, I'm somehow glossing over my own deep impurities with a little swatch of red-white-and-blue.

So if the first reason I remember 9/11 is to identify with others and the horrible US against THEM history we all share, then

THE SECOND REASON I REMEMBER

I think the best reason I remember 9/11 is to stay in touch with the fact that I am Osama Bin Laden. I am the betrayer, the terrorist, the hater; I am evil. I remember that at my core I am deeply good and made in the image of my Maker -- but that image has been savagely torn and left to tarnish from disuse.

I remember 9/11 so I can remember that violence lives inside me but in that same moment I remember I have a choice, and instead of hate I can follow love.

I implore you to do the same, on this and every day, and I wish you Peace.

~ Keith

This is my contribution to a campaign by Sarah Cunningham, who has called on faith bloggers to offer goodwill on the anniversary of 9/11. What did you think? Please share your thoughts and feelings in the comments.

For more on Remembering 9/11, you can read some great stuff by:

Chad Estes -- Remembering 9/11

Jon Reid -- Jesus Loves Muslims: A 9/11 Letter

...and at the bottom of their posts, are further links

Marathon Training Week 15 of 23

2010-09-04T16:18:00.001-07:00

Week fifteen was a doozy. The long run was a new PR of 18 miles, and I intentionally planned my route so that Mile 17 and 18 were uphill. No, I'm not a masochist -- but at mile 17 on the Portland Marathon course is where a long slow uphill begins, to get on the St John's bridge. So, I wanted practice climbing hills at mile 17 and beyond. I had been maintaining 10:00 and sub-10:00 times for the first 16, but the last 2 miles were 11:00-ish and 12:00-ish. I don't know that I hit the wall, although 2 miles of uphill definitely kicked my butt! In 2 weeks, on my longest run of the training program (20 miles) I'll do the same thing. OOF! As I was finishing today I started thinking "OK, on race day I'll need to do 8 more miles? Whoa." But then I stopped myself and began repeating the longest of my running mantras

I can't run what was.
I can't run what will be.
I can only run what is.
Run now
carpe viam

Highlights of the week:

Running over 37 miles for the week!
Running a distance of 18 miles for the first time ever!
Running almost 6 1/2 hours total this week!
Burning over 4800 calories this week!

but the biggest highlight of all...

My Monday run of 60 minutes: I felt good, and strong. The 6+ miles I ran for the 60-min time-frame was at 9:24. My previous 10k PR was 9:38 -- so without even trying, I ran a new 10k+ PR! (see the run here).

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 15 totals:
Running Distance: 37.47 mi
Running Time: 06:29:46 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 11.5 mph
Avg HR: 153 bpm
Max HR: 172 bpm
Calories burned: 4,833

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 15's long run of 18 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 355.77 mi
Running Time: 52:02:07 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 46,724

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 102.53 mi
September: 30.44 (1st thru 4th!)

Previous week's totals:
Week 14 totals:
Running Distance: 20.35 mi
Running Time: 03:33:01 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.6 mph
Avg HR: 145 bpm
Max HR: 172 bpm
Calories burned: 2,598

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 14's long run of 8 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 14 of 23

2010-08-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

Week fourteen has come and gone, fairly uneventfully. I've knocked down the heart rate range for cross-training and plan to pick that back up next week. My long run was only 8 miles, and for some reason I felt tired and bored. I had my iPod, listening to an audiobook of short stories that were not very engaging. Maybe that was the problem. Or maybe it was that I went out fairly fast, feeling like I *couldn't* run slower, which made it hard to finish well? I don't know -- I just hope next week's 18 miler wil be better than this week's 8-miler in terms of boredom and do-ability. Only one way to find out (no iPod this time!)

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 14 totals:
Running Distance: 20.35 mi
Running Time: 03:33:01 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.6 mph
Avg HR: 145 bpm
Max HR: 172 bpm
Calories burned: 2,598

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 14's long run of 8 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 318.31 mi
Running Time: 55:32:20 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 41,891

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 95.5 mi (1st thru 28th)

Previous week's totals:
Week 13 totals:
Running Distance: 34.35 mi
Running Time: 05:55:39 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 13.2 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 176 bpm
Calories burned: 4,514

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 13's long run of 16 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 13 of 23

2010-08-21T17:59:00.010-07:00

Week thirteen was a banner week on a few levels. First I chose not to do any striders this week. My legs were a bit overly tired and it was nice to take a break and not *have* to do striders. And drumroll please: I didn't cross-train at all. This was not because I hadn't slept well or for any other reason than this: I chose not to cross-train. I blissfully slept in on those two days, and was very glad for the chance to do so. I had come to the conclusion that the payoff was not worth the boredom and exertion involved. I knew I was giving up not only the non-running muscle strengthening, but also the 2 days a week of cardiovascular aerobics. But it was a choice I am glad I made. And I also decided that I would leave the door open for future cross-training, realizing that if I *did* jump back in, it would have to be either really soon, or I'd have to back off some.

Having 16 miles of roads to think about a bunch of things today, I reached a place of clarity (ORN: don't you *love* it when that happens!??!?). I was reflecting on the fact that here I was, the pudgy kid grown up into an adult-onset athlete, chugging away at 16 sub-10:00 miles, but when I was growing up I hated running. What I hated most was I was always out of breath and my legs hurt. Only as an adult did I learn I didn't have to push so hard and, once I slowed down a bit and got some conditioning in me, I could actually enjoy it! Here's my "a-ha!" moment: "Hmmm, I wonder if when I ride the recumbent stationary bike, I am riding too hard and too fast, and that is why I hate it so much? Maybe if, like with running, I reduce the intensity and slow my cadence, it wouldn't be so difficult; such a hassle -- and yet I would still be getting a workout for my legs *and* my heart and lungs. And maybe I would learn to enjoy it, like I did with running?!??!?!!?" We'll see. I'm not sure if I will cross-train next week or not, but the door is more open than it was before and besides, I want to see the rest of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade!

Highlight of the week -- running a distance PR of 16 miles (on a route that took me past Garmin headquarters, where I dutifully saluted!) at my usual run-a-mile, walk-a-minute routine, averaging sub-10:00 pace for the runs and doing a 9:00 mile #15 and a 9:15 mile #16. The weather was warm but not hot, and I was out on the road for a few seconds over 3:00, covering a total of just under 17.8 miles. Not bad for a pudgy kid who is all grown up. And as an added bonus, I tried a couple new things. I actually got up one hour before my run and ate a banana and a Clif bar. Pretty amazing what a little pre-run nutrition will do! Also, when I got back I ran a cool bath and added a coupe dozen ice cubes, and soaked while listening to some George Winston and sipping a large cold glass of chocolate milk, my favorite recovery drink.

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 13 totals:
Running Distance: 34.35 mi
Running Time: 05:55:39 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 13.2 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 176 bpm
Calories burned: 4,514

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the link to week 13's long run of 16 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 297.95 mi -- *almost* broke 300!
Running Time: 51:59:18 h:m:s -- *over* 2 days of running
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 39,293 -- that's over 11 *pounds* of fat burned!

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 75.14 mi (1st thru 21st)

Previous week's totals:
Week 12 totals:
Running Distance: 16.78 mi
Running Time: 02:51:27 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.9 mph
Max Speed: 15.7 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 176 bpm
Calories burned: 2,182

Cycling Approx Distance: 16.7 mi
Cycling Time: 00:50:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 20 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 146 bpm

And here's the link to week 12's long run of 8 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 12 of 23

2010-08-16T13:59:00.000-07:00

Week twelve was sort-of uneventful, but I'm certain the increased workload as the next few weeks play out will more than make up for that.

Highlight of the week -- I took a trip back to California and my long run was from my friend's home to our old house, and back. Nostalgia central.

Week 12 totals:
Running Distance: 16.78 mi
Running Time: 02:51:27 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.9 mph
Max Speed: 15.7 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 176 bpm
Calories burned: 2,182

Cycling Approx Distance: 16.7 mi
Cycling Time: 00:50:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 20 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 146 bpm

And here's the link to week 12's long run of 8 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 263.60 mi
Running Time: 46:03:38 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 34,779

Cycling Approx Distance: 207 mi
Cycling Time: 10:52:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 40.79 mi (1st thru 14th)

Previous week's totals:
Week 11 totals:
Running Distance: 24.01 mi
Running Time: 04:14:45 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 8.7 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 177 bpm
Calories burned: 3,134

Cycling Approx Distance: 15.8 mi
Cycling Time: 00:50:01 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 132 bpm
Max HR: 146 bpm

And here's the link to week 11's long run of 14 miles. Check out the elevation graph!

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 11 of 23

2010-08-07T15:54:00.000-07:00

Week eleven was especially difficult. The long run was physically challenging, but mainly week 11 was challenging mentally and emotionally.

My Monday run was a little short, as I was still on vacation -- and had less-than-24-hour-old tattoos on my feet. Word to the wise -- Week 10 of a 23-week training program toward a marathon is probably not the best day to get a tattoo on your feet. That being said, I am not sorry I did it!

I didn't sleep well on Tuesday night, so on Wednesday morning I blew off my 40 minute run and striders. Thursday I ran my 45 minutes, and then didn't sleep well again on Thursday night, so on Friday morning I must admit it was pretty easy not to do any cross-training. I also let my discipline slide a bit in the areas of nutrition and getting to bed on time. When I started this training, I'd decided to not drink alcohol on a night before I was training. That little rule has been broken a bit. A beer here, and a glass of wine there, no big deal, right? But it does effect how I sleep, and my inhibitions go down, so I eat more than I really want or need. And the quality of my food has gone down a bit. So -- at the half-way point, it is good for me to reflect and (similar to doing a little body-sensing during a run) pay attention to how I am doing, make a few minor adjustments to get back on track, and then see how things go over the next few weeks.

Milestone -- Today I ran a little over 15 miles -- the furthest I've ever done on my own two feet. Word to the wise, though -- when you're planning to run further than you've ever run before on a Saturday, it isn't the smartest idea to have a Friday night dinner of chorizo nachos, and an even worse idea to eat more than you are hungry for. Oh, and the whole huge ice-cream-sundae for dessert thing? Not smart either. Ummm, and then not getting to bed until midnight, and waking up at 5 to feed the cat then going back to bed at 6 after doodling around on FaceBook, and then getting up at 8 and (still feeling full from the chorizo nachos and huge ice-cream sundae) deciding not to eat anything before running...not bright at all. But, I did the run, and took a different route than I've ever done before, including an elevation gain of around 1/4 mile between mile 8.5 & 9.5, and then another 90 feet over the next mile, and then another 150 feet elevation gain in the last 1/2 of mile 11.

OOF!!!

And, as an added bennie, even though my pace slacked quite a bit on those hills, my last 3 miles were all negative splits, including a 9:15 for mile 12.

Week 11 totals:
Running Distance: 24.01 mi
Running Time: 04:14:45 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 8.7 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 177 bpm
Calories burned: 3,134

Cycling Approx Distance: 15.8 mi
Cycling Time: 00:50:01 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 132 bpm
Max HR: 146 bpm

And here's the link to week 11's long run of 14 miles. Check out the elevation graph!

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 246.82 mi
Running Time: 43:12:11 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 32,597

Cycling Approx Distance: 191 mi
Cycling Time: 10:02:50 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi
August: 24.01 mi

Previous week's totals:
Week 10 totals:
Running Distance: 23.24 mi
Running Time: 03:59:54 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 411,555.3 mph (um, yes, that must have been a garmin error. I'm pretty sure I've never, even for a feptosecond, reached a speed of mach 536, or 0.0006 speed of light)
Avg HR: 146 bpm
Max HR: 173 bpm
Calories burned: 3,080

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the links to my run with Steve, followed by week 10's long run of 6 miles.

~ Keith

Fresh Ink 2010

2010-08-01T17:26:00.002-07:00

My 5th Tattoo:

When: August 1st, 2010 (age 44).

Who: Sofia @ Triangle Tattoo

What/Where:3 latin words: The phrase "carpe viam" and the word "pax" -- on both feet.

Time? Took around 3 hours to find the right fonts, do the drawing and design, then about 1 hour of "buzz time."

Pain: It was weird -- in my previous work, it was painful at first and took awhile to change. With my feet the pain faded almost immediately. When she went back and did the fading and touch-up, that was hard at first, but that too faded quickly. The most difficult part was the two halves of the A in PAX -- it was in some real tender flesh and sort of half-hurt and half-tickled. Very weird.

Why: So that with each step I take, I am reminding myself to "seize the path" and offering "peace" to all whose path I cross.

~ Keith

(You can read about my 1st 4 tattoos here)

Marathon Training Week 10 of 23

2010-07-31T10:26:00.003-07:00

Week ten was fabulous. I didn't cross-train at all! =O)

Challenge of the week -- Wednesday I did a Tempo run that was kicked up a notch from my last couple. 5 min warmup walk, 10 min at a 10:00 pace, then 10 min at a pace of 8:00. 2 min walk, then another 10 min at a 8:00 pace. Then 10 min at 10:00 pace, then a 5 min cooldown walk...and then 4 sets of striders! Wow. That was tough, but in a really good way. I focused on relaxing, rather that "trying to go faster" and it was really helpful. It was mondo strenuous, but not arduous. It was good practice for what it feels like to run at that point of exertion and maintain it, while paying attention to form, and footstrike, and staying relaxed both externally as well as in my heart. A Zen moment, I think.

Milestone -- Today is the last day of July, and I hit 104.11 miles for the month -- that's my first month ever, over 100 miles. What a feeling!

Highlight of the week: I'm on vacation as I write this, in Mendocino, CA. This morning I got to run with my friend Steve. Our wives have known each other for over 40 years, so we've known each other for over 20. They get together about once a year, but he and I haven't seen each other in probably a decade or more. I've been running about 2 years, and he's been running a few months now. So we went for a run together this morning and it was so fun! He's a good runner and we kept about a 9:45 pace for a little over 3.5 miles. Then, I turned around and headed back out into town, to do my long run. I went along the paths and cliffs in Mendocino Headlands State Park (others' pictures here). The best image I found online is a great one to use to compare with the garmin map you'll find below.Beautiful! I ran 6 miles along the gorgeous cliffs. I found myself speaking in an accent, saying "Ach! It's like running along the moors & cliffs of bonnie Scotland, bu' here it's a wee bi' warmer!"

Week 10 totals:
Running Distance: 23.24 mi
Running Time: 03:59:54 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 411,555.3 mph (um, yes, that must have been a garmin error. I'm pretty sure I've never, even for a feptosecond, reached a speed of mach 536, or 0.0006 speed of light)
Avg HR: 146 bpm
Max HR: 173 bpm
Calories burned: 3,080

Cycling Approx Distance: 00.0 mi
Cycling Time: 00:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 0 mph
Avg HR: n/a bpm
Max HR: n/a bpm

And here's the links to my run with Steve, followed by week 10's long run of 6 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 222.81 mi
Running Time: 38:57:26 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 29,463

Cycling Approx Distance: 175 mi
Cycling Time: 09:12:48 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 104.11 mi (1st thru 31st) -- my first 100+ mile month!

Previous week's totals:
Week 9 totals:
Running Distance: 24.7 mi
Running Time: 04:15:35 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 12.3 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 179 bpm
Calories burned: 3,295

Cycling Approx Distance: 28.5 mi
Cycling Time: 01:30:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 142 bpm

And here's the links to part 1, followed by part 2 of week 9's long run of 12 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 9 of 23

2010-07-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

Week nine was good. I didn't sleep well on Sunday night so on Monday morning I completely blew off my 50-min run. But the rest of the week was marvy! If you remember last week I was lamenting how much I hate the cross-training thing. Well, this week I did it all. I'm glad. I still don't like it, but I'm glad I did it.

Highlight of the week: Again, it was the long run. Because of my "run a mile, walk a minute" strategy, my long runs are actually a wee bit longer than they would be. Since you're already here reading this (week 9, *and* you made it this far down the page) I'm sure you will want to know the details -- so here they are. When I ran my last half-marathon in the run-a-mile-walk-a-minute plan, it was 13.1 miles, like all half-marathons are. When you cross the finish line, you're done. But yesterday my "12 mile" long run was more than just a 12-mile course with a finish line. It was, to me, an opportunity to do 12 run-a-mile-walk-a-minute repeats. So, with the 5 min warmup and 5 min cooldown walks, plus the 12 walk-a-minutes, my overall distance was just over 14 miles. That's the farthest I've ever propelled myself on my own two feet. And the last 2 miles were negative splits! My last mile was under 9:00!

Challenge of the week: It was hot, but I hit the road around 0615, so it wasn't too bad. I stayed well-hydrated and felt really good the whole run. Until about 1/2 mile into the 11th repeat when my nipples just couldn't take it any more. (Sorry for the blunt image to the side of your brain -- I'm quite sure you weren't really expecting me to talk about my nipples, but there they are in all their chapped glory). I use body glide, and am glad I do. But I've long suspected that I use too much -- since many of my tech shirts have big dark stains that look like I'm lactating. So yesterday I used the body-glide sparingly...a little *too* sparingly. So since I was otherwise feeling good, and even though I don't have the bod to go running around town without a shirt (although I am proud of the changes I've made) I went for it and figured I'd do the last mile-and-a-half shirtless. It felt great! Until I looked at my watch and it said "08:14:23 am". Not that a watch telling the time is a bad thing but this meant somehow my super-special GPS heart-rate-monitor watch had been dinked with in my act of removing my shirt. I tried to put it back to the "monitor my run" mode, but it wouldn't go there. SO, I had to re-start my workout, then quickly "lap" through to catch up to where I was supposed to be. Harrumph! So while, in the end, I ran an extra 1/2 mile, and my watch *did* capture *both* pieces of the run, I have no single-entry documentation of my longest run ever. Good news: In a couple weeks when I do 14 repeats, I'll have another chance.

Here's the boring stuff:

Week 8 totals:
Running Distance: 24.7 mi
Running Time: 04:15:35 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 12.3 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 179 bpm
Calories burned: 3,295

Cycling Approx Distance: 28.5 mi
Cycling Time: 01:30:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 142 bpm

And here's the links to part 1, followed by part 2 of week 9's long run of 12 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 199.57 mi
Running Time: 34:47:52 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 26,383

Cycling Approx Distance: 175 mi
Cycling Time: 09:12:48 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Running Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 80.87 mi (1st thru 24th)

Previous week's totals:
Week 8 totals:
Running Distance: 22.41 mi
Running Time: 03:54:49 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.5 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 176 bpm
Calories burned: 2,944

Cycling Approx Distance: 10 mi
Cycling Time: 00:25:17 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 121 bpm
Max HR: 135 bpm

And here's a link to week 8's long run of 10 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 8 of 23

2010-07-16T21:28:00.000-07:00

Week eight was weird and rough. My motivation was low until today. I didn't sleep well on Monday night so on Tuesday morning I cut short my cross-training. Then I didn't sleep well on Thursday night so I blew off cross-training on Friday morning. If this keeps up I will be sorry come marathon day -- but man I dislike the while cross-training thing!

Highlight of the week (& challenge of the week): Since I blew off cross-training this morning, and have plans for first thing in the morning -- I did a 10-mile run tonight (Friday night) instead of tomorrow morning. Woof! I've done 10-milers 4 other times, and 2 half-marathons. In all my 2+ years of running I've only run once at the end of the day, and it was difficult, but not a big deal. But...I found out today there is a HUGE difference between running 10 miles at 6:30 pm after working all day, in 75 degree heat, compared to running 10 miles at 6:30 am in 50 degree temps. Ugh! I walked 1/2 mile at one point, and got too dehydrated -- but I finished. It was good training for finishing when very tired.

Week 8 totals:
Running Distance: 22.41 mi
Running Time: 03:54:49 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.5 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 176 bpm
Calories burned: 2,944

Cycling Approx Distance: 10 mi
Cycling Time: 00:25:17 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 121 bpm
Max HR: 135 bpm

And here's a link to week 8's long run of 10 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 174.86 mi
Running Time: 30:41:57 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 148 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 23,088

Cycling Approx Distance: 133 mi
Cycling Time: 07:42:48 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 128 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 56.16 mi (1st thru 16th)

Previous week's totals:
Week 7 totals:
Running Distance: 18.3 mi
Running Time: 03:08:38 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 140 bpm
Max HR: 178 bpm
Calories burned: 2,407

Cycling Approx Distance: 15.8 mi
Cycling Time: 00:50:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 117 bpm
Max HR: 131 bpm

And here's a link to week 7's long run of 6 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 7 of 23

2010-07-10T12:14:00.001-07:00

Week seven was a rough one. My Tuesday cross-training session was 40 min instead of 30. Let me tell you, an extra 10 min is a long time! My heart-rate monitor's battery was running low but the only way I knew that is that my HR was reading low. At first I kept trying to work harder then I realized what must be happening -- so Mon & Tue workouts were a little choppy. I missed my Friday cross-training due to a number of factors. My Saturday run was in some heat, and with insufficient sleep, but I got through it. And I had an extra rest day on Thursday because on Wednesday (drum roll please...) I did my first tempo-run workout! The training program I am using has 3 different tempo run workouts. The easiest is Tempo-C:

5 min warmup walk @ 13:30 pace
10 min easy run at 10:00 pace
5 min moderate-hard run at 8:00 pace
1 min walk @ 13:30 pace
5 min moderate-hard run at 8:00 pace
1 min walk @ 13:30 pace
5 min moderate-hard run at 8:00 pace
1 min walk @ 13:30 pace
10 min easy run @ 10:00 pace
5 min cooldown walk @ no particular pace
---
followed by 4 sets of striders:
each set =
1) 30 sec gradual buildup from slow easy jog to all-out sprint, concentrating not on speed, per se, but on good form, and quick footstrike.
2) then 1:00 of walking cooldown

Tempo-B & Tempo-A (later in the 23 week program) will have me doing longer sets of faster-paced runs in the middle of the run. Tempo B will be 10-min fast runs x 2, and Tempo-A will be a full 20-min of fast run! Woof!

Highlight of the week: Between the tempo workout and not enough sleep last night before this morning's run, I had two *really* hard workouts, but I *did* 'em! I keep finding out there is more inside me than I thought there ever could be, and that is a really good feeling!

Milestones -- sum totals = >20,000 calories burned (or around 5.75 pounds of fat); >150 miles run, & >24 hrs of running! That's an avg pace of 10:32 (including warmup/cooldown/recovery walks!)

Week 7 totals:
Running Distance: 18.3 mi
Running Time: 03:08:38 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 140 bpm
Max HR: 178 bpm
Calories burned: 2,407

Cycling Approx Distance: 15.8 mi
Cycling Time: 00:50:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 117 bpm
Max HR: 131 bpm

And here's a link to week 7's long run of 6 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 152.46 mi
Running Time: 26:47:08 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.8 mph
Avg HR: 148 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 20,144

Cycling Approx Distance: 123 mi
Cycling Time: 07:17:31 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 128 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Mileage Totals:
May: 23.68 mi (24th thru 31st)
June: 95.02 mi
July: 33.76 mi (1st thru 10th)

Previous week's totals:
Week 6 totals:
Running Distance: 31.29 mi
Running Time: 05:36:58 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.6 mph
Max Speed: 11.9 mph
Avg HR: 146 bpm
Max HR: 172 bpm
Calories burned: 4,149

Cycling Approx Distance: 12.5 mi
Cycling Time: 00:40:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 130 bpm
Max HR: 144 bpm

And here's a link to week 6's long run of 9 miles.

~ Keith

Sense and Sensibility

2010-07-08T18:40:00.000-07:00

In the past 2 years as I have become a runner, I've learned some things about body-sensing as I run -- taking a physical head-to-toe inventory as I am running, to stay relaxed, to maintain good form, etc. It has been a great help, and feels very Zen.

Just recently I have been noticing this flowing over to other areas of my days. Like, if I eat a big bowl of ice cream 30 minutes before I go to bed, I don't sleep well, because of the sugar rush. If I drink 2-3 glasses of water within an hour or so of going to bed, then I have to get up to pee in the middle of the night. But if I allow myself to go a few hours after eating & drinking before going to bed, I sleep much better.

And if I eat nutritious foods in healthy portion sizes, I have more energy and feel better throughout the day.

I'm almost 45 and I'm just now figuring that out? DUH! LOL!

Better late than never,

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 6 of 23

2010-07-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

Week six was a bit out of the ordinary. We went to Bend for the Pacific Crest 10k, so I could run with some friends. So on Sunday, my "rest" day was actually spent running a 10k. It was at a much slower pace for me, so it was sort of restful -- but because of the slower speed, I was out on the course for over an hour, so it was a good endurance workout. I ended up taking a rest day on Tuesday instead of cross-training.

Highlight of the week: The reason I was running more slowly for the Pacific Crest 10k, was because I was pacing my friend Jen to a PR, so it was a lot of fun!

New item -- along with the totals below, I will begin including the monthly mileage for each full month of running during this training program. Since I started 24th May, the month of June will be the first full month shown.

Week 6 totals:
Running Distance: 31.29 mi
Running Time: 05:36:58 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.6 mph
Max Speed: 11.9 mph
Avg HR: 146 bpm
Max HR: 172 bpm
Calories burned: 4,149

Cycling Approx Distance: 12.5 mi
Cycling Time: 00:40:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 130 bpm
Max HR: 144 bpm

And here's a link to week 6's long run of 9 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 134.15 mi
Running Time: 23:38:29 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.5 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 17,737

Cycling Approx Distance: 123 mi
Cycling Time: 06:27:31 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 128 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Monthly Mileage Totals:
June: 95.02 mi

Previous week's totals:
Week 5 totals:
Running Distance: 24.99 mi
Running Time: 04:22:38 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.5 mph
Avg HR: 148 bpm
Max HR: 171 bpm
Calories burned: 3,315

Cycling Approx Distance: 25 mi
Cycling Time: 01:20:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 128 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

And here's a link to week 5's long run of 8 beautiful miles along the Deschutes River.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 5 of 23

2010-06-26T09:20:00.000-07:00

Week five was "back to normal week" where I did all my workouts, and it has been good!

Milestone of the week: I've run over 100 miles since marathon training began on 24th May 2010

Highlight of the week: as I type this I'm in Bend, and my run this morning took me along the Deschutes River Trail.

Week 5 totals:
Running Distance: 24.99 mi
Running Time: 04:22:38 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.5 mph
Avg HR: 148 bpm
Max HR: 171 bpm
Calories burned: 3,315

Cycling Approx Distance: 25 mi
Cycling Time: 01:20:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 128 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

And here's a link to week 5's long run of 8 beautiful miles along the Deschutes River.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 102.86 mi
Running Time: 18:01:31 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.5 mph
Avg HR: 150 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 13,588

Cycling Approx Distance: 110.5 mi
Cycling Time: 05:47:31 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 128 bpm
Max HR: 153 bpm

Previous week's totals:
Week 4 totals:
Running Distance: 18.74 mi
Running Time: 03:12:47 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 29.1 mph (gps error?)
Avg HR: 151 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 2,490

Cycling Approx Distance: 26 mi
Cycling Time: 01:20:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 20 mph
Avg HR: 130 bpm
Max HR: 145 bpm

And here's a link to week 4's long run of 6 miles.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 4 of 23

2010-06-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

Week four was a "cutback" week -- where I upped my Monday run by 5 minutes, *didn't* run on Thursday, and dropped my Saturday run by a mile. Tuesday night I didn't sleep well, so I opted to run after work instead of that morning. It was supposed to be just a 40 min run followed by striders, but instead I ran with some friends and really pushed it, running a 10k in the South Salem hills where the first half was all uphill, and then the second half was all back downhill. Rather than 4 sets of striders I gave a good kick in the last 1/2 mile of the 10k (which I'd already negative split with the downhill's help) -- so I opted for just one set of striders.

Here's the link to my uphill/downhill 10k.

Next week on Sunday I'm running the Pacific Crest 10 with some friends, so my week 6 totals will be higher than usual. But I'll be doing the 10k at a slower pace, so it should be OK.

Week 4 totals:
Running Distance: 18.74 mi
Running Time: 03:12:47 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.8 mph
Max Speed: 29.1 mph (gps error?)
Avg HR: 151 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 2,490

Cycling Approx Distance: 26 mi
Cycling Time: 01:20:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 20 mph
Avg HR: 130 bpm
Max HR: 145 bpm

And here's a link to week 4's long run of 6 miles.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 77.87 mi
Running Time: 13:38:52 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.4 mph
Avg HR: 150 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 10,273

Cycling Approx Distance: 85.5 mi
Cycling Time: 04:27:31 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 128 bpm
Max HR: 147 bpm

Previous week's totals:
Week 3 totals:
Running Distance: 18.36 mi
Running Time: 03:12:22 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 14.3 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 2,417

Cycling Approx Distance: 21 mi
Cycling Time: 01:07:31 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 20 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 143 bpm

And here's a link to week 3's long run of 7 miles. Unfortunately I messed up my watch settings, so this is just the run and cooldown.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 3 of 23

2010-06-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

Week three was a bit choppy. I had a couple nights of bad sleep, so my cycling on Tuesday was abbreviated, and I skipped my Thursday run altogether. But my Friday cross-training was great. I lowered the resistance and upped the speed -- so my heart rate stayed in range, but it felt "easier" and that made it more do-able. Today's long run was great -- I finished with negative splits for the last 2 miles. I'm looking forward to a solid next week of training starting Monday!

Week 3 totals:
Running Distance: 18.36 mi
Running Time: 03:12:22 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 14.3 mph
Avg HR: 152 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 2,417

Cycling Approx Distance: 21 mi
Cycling Time: 01:07:31 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 20 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 143 bpm

And here's a link to week 3's long run of 7 miles. Unfortunately I messed up my watch settings, so this is just the run and cooldown.

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 59.13 mi
Running Time: 10:26:04 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.4 mph
Avg HR: 150 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories burned: 7,783

Cycling Approx Distance: 58 mi
Cycling Time: 03:07:31 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 19 mph
Avg HR: 128 bpm
Max HR: 147 bpm

Previous week's totals:
Week 2 totals:
Running Distance: 21.89 mi
Running Time: 03:50:41 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.4 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 172 bpm
Calories burned: 2,883

Cycling Approx Distance: 12 mi
Cycling Time: 00:40:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 18 mph
Avg HR: 130 bpm
Max HR: 147 bpm

And here's a link to week 2's long run of 6 miles

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 2 of 23

2010-06-07T11:10:00.002-07:00

Week two was great. I was somewhat bummed that I had to skip recumbent cycling on Friday, but it was worth it since I was on a plane to Montana, and on my long run on Saturday (only 6 miles, but at around 3,750 ft elevation) I got to see wild pheasant, white-tail deer, and some amazing landscape.

Week 2 totals:
Running Distance: 21.89 mi
Running Time: 03:50:41 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.4 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 172 bpm
Calories: 2,883 C

Cycling Approx Distance: 12 mi
Cycling Time: 00:40:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 18 mph
Avg HR: 130 bpm
Max HR: 147 bpm

And here's a link to week 2's long run of 6 miles

Sum totals so far:
Running Distance: 40.77 mi
Running Time: 07:13:42 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.7 mph
Max Speed: 12.4 mph
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories: 5,366 C

Cycling Approx Distance: 36 mi
Cycling Time: 02:00:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 18 mph
Avg HR: 128 bpm
Max HR: 147 bpm

Previous week's totals:
Week 1 totals:
Running Distance: 18.88 mi
Running Time: 03:23:01 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.6 mph
Max Speed: 167.5 mph (whoa! GPS error somewhere!)
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories: 2,483 C

Cycling Approx Distance: 24 mi
Cycling Time: 01:20:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 18 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 145 bpm

And here's a link to week 1's long run of 5 miles.

~ Keith

A Weekend Runs Through It

2010-06-06T15:02:00.000-07:00

As I type this I am in the Seattle airport, awaiting my flight home to Oregon. I spent the weekend in Montana with my sister Bobbi and her family. We had good food and a great time hanging out and connecting. Bobbi rocks! We went to Yellowstone Nat'l Park (it was free entrance day!). Some of the amazing sights from my trip are viewable here

Highlights: Spending time with my sister Bobbi, seeing a bison up close and personal, seeing my niece Brittany and her baby Abby, seeing my nephew Todd, meeting my sister's husband Matt, and seeing a GRIZZLY BEAR AND HER CUB from only 125 yards away in Yellowstone!

ORN: (obligatroy running note) Oh, and I also ran 7 miles at 4k ft elevation. That was fun too.

~ Keith

Marathon Training Week 1 of 23

2010-05-29T07:36:00.001-07:00

I had a great week. It was hard to get started some mornings, and the recumbent stationary cycling *really* isolates my quads, so I was a little worried about overuse injury. But here it is Saturday and my legs feel pretty good.

This is the first time in my life I can remember exercising aerobically for 30-60 minutes, 6 days in a row!

This week's totals:

Running Distance: 18.88 mi
Running Time: 03:23:01 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.6 mph
Max Speed: 167.5 mph (whoa! GPS error somewhere!)
Avg HR: 149 bpm
Max HR: 182 bpm
Calories: 2,483 C

Cycling Approx Distance: 24 mi
Cycling Time: 01:20:00 h:m:s
Approx Avg Speed 18 mph
Avg HR: 127 bpm
Max HR: 145 bpm

And here's a link to today's run.

~ Keith

A Goal in Sight

2010-05-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

If you peruse my archives, under the label "fitness", you'll see I started running in June of 2008. In February of that year I'd hit 220 lbs, on my way back toward my lifetime high of 250 lbs -- and I knew things had to change. I started eating differently, and that helped a lot. But in June of 2008 when I started running, something new happened. I started to change not only on the outside, but also on the inside. What started out as an exercise in self-denial and discipline led to an inexpressible joy as I began "running into my self".

I have a history of starting projects, especially related to fitness or weight loss, with goals either too lofty, too short-term, or both. I was the guy who would (try to) do 50 pushups and 100 sit-ups on January 1st, then (try to) do 25 pushups and 50 sit-ups on January 2nd, then skip January 3rd, and feel guilty, so I'd try to do 10 pushups and 20 sit-ups on January 4th, then stop trying.

But in mid- late-2008 as I was finding a rhythm of running, something changed. I stopped trying to be someone I wasn't and instead found joy in who I was. Only then did I find joy in who I was becoming -- allowing the process to shape me, and allowing myself to see where it pointed. Only then did I set my sights on a lofty goal: to run the 2010 Portland Marathon on 10-10-10.

Since then I've averaged 2-3 days per week of running, almost exclusively before sunrise. Most of that running has been alone, which is my preference -- except for a few great runs with some friends which I look forward to continuing in the future. I've run 2 5k (3 1/8mi) races, an 8k (5 mi), a 10k (6.2 mi), and 2 half-marathons (13.1 mi). I have a 10k scheduled in late June and am stoked for that one. But not as stoked as I am to run the Portland Marathon later this year.

Today is Thursday May 20, 2010. I weigh 173 lbs, and just got back from an exhilarating run in the rain from 5:15-6:30am. Today was my last run before my marathon training program begins on Monday May 24, 2010. I'll be running 4-5 days per week, and cycling 2 days per week for cross-training. I'll be losing body fat and leaning up for the race in October.

My goal is in sight. My plans are set. My heart, mind, body and spirit are all in unison. I've got a new pair of shoes to wear, and will be blogging my progress here weekly. Not just the stats but my emotions, both high and low. I hope you'll join me.

Not long after I started running, my friend (and very experienced runner) Tom sent me a Nike postcard with the sentiment that has been something of a mantra for me:

Run.
Not because you are in a hurry,
or because you are being chased.
Just run.

Last night I read a poem by Charles Hamilton Sorley that literally moved me to tears because I so identified with it. I marvel at the person I've become, and truly enjoy the process of discovery as I am still becoming.

Song of the Ungirt Runners

We swing ungirded hips,
And lightened are our eyes,
The rain is on our lips,
We do not run for prize.
We know not whom we trust
Nor whitherward we fare,
But we run because we must
Through the great wide air.

The waters of the seas
Are troubled as by storm.
The tempest strips the trees
And does not leave them warm.
Does the tearing tempest pause?
Do the tree-tops ask it why?
So we run without a cause
'Neath the big bare sky.

The rain is on our lips,
We do not run for prize.
But the storm the water whips
And the wave howls to the skies.
The winds arise and strike it
And scatter it like sand,
And we run because we like it
Through the broad bright land.

I am a runner. I'm girt, thankfully. =O)

...but oh the joy I feel when I run.

~ Keith

My First Motorcycle Rally

2010-05-09T08:00:00.001-07:00

Friday night I rode up to West Linn to stay overnight with my friend Steve. Saturday morning we got up around 0400 and rode to the ANG Armory at PDX, where we embarked on a journey -- my first motorcycle rally. We were joined by a new friend Chris, and we all had a great time, although Steve may have been a bit late getting home -- sorry Steve! Chris & I arrived back at the armory around 7pm, and I was home by around 8:30pm. 500+ miles of beautiful Pacific Northwest Motorcycle Touring!

The rally was sponsored by Rose City Motorcycle Club. Here's our route, and then a few snapshots along the way...

View Larger Map

North Cove, WA

A couple shots from Union Bay

Back at the armory

~ Keith

Standing, Falling, and Weeping

2010-04-30T08:14:00.002-07:00

My dad was one of 13 kids, and we were 1 of only 2 of the families who moved away from Missouri, so growing up there were only a few cousins I saw, and that was pretty infrequent. I'm in St. Louis, MO this weekend, for my uncle's funeral. It has been really good to reconnect with family, and even meet some cousins I had never seen before. It has been a week of topsy-turvy emotions; of being a support and allowing myself to be supported by others.

A song that keeps rolling through my head is Rich Mullins' "If I Stand"

There's more that rises in the morning
Than the sun
And more that shines in the night
Than just the moon
It's more than just this fire here
That keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger
Than this room

And there's a loyalty that's deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegiance
I owe only to the giver
Of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home

There's more that dances on the prairies
Than the wind
More that pulses in the ocean
Than the tide
There's a love that is fiercer
Than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother's
When her baby's at her side

And there's a loyalty that's deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegence
I owe only to the Giver
Of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home

And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home

St. Louis is my family's home. I've always considered Oregon to be home. But the older I get the more I realize that really, being with family is being home no matter where I am.

I miss my uncle Don, and I miss my dad, and I miss my family and, as I type this, I am weeping -- as a man who is longing for the day when we can all be at home together again.

~ Keith

Once Upon A Time (Again)

2010-03-13T13:06:00.002-08:00

In November 2006, on the day after Thanksgiving, I bought my first motorcycle. It was a dream come true. Recently I sold that bike and today, the dream-come-true experience expanded as I rode home on my very own BMW R1150R!

When I bought my first bike, I posted about the CE armored, ultra-safe riding gear I purchased. Recently I got some new gear to go with the new bike. I got this jacket (bright enough for you?)

and these pants

and these boots.

I'd write more, but would rather get back out on the road.

Keep the rubber side down...

~ Keith

Blog Update

2010-01-30T08:43:00.002-08:00

After a few years I finally got around to updating my blog template to Blogger's "layouts". The main reason I delayed so long is that the custom look and feel of my blog was important to me. It took some time and tweaking this morning before I was satisfied and I'm sure I'll tweak some more later.

~ Keith

Two Halfs (Almost) Make (Me Ready for) a Whole

2010-01-16T09:58:00.005-08:00

In June, 2009 I ran the Helvetia Half Marathon in Hillsboro, Oregon. That was my first "Half" and I'd followed the training programs in Marathoning for Mortals. I was ready. I came, I ran, I conquered. It kicked my butt, but I did it. I was proud of my accomplishment (and still am), but was not done. That Half was just one short-term goal on the way to a larger goal of running the Portland Marathon in October 2010.

Another milestone will come tomorrow when I run the Cascade Half Marathon in Turner, Oregon (featured in the Jan 2010 issue of Runners World Magazine!). Unlike last time, I have no specific mile-marker dedications. Tomorrow I'm just going to run.

I started training back on Monday October 12, 2009. Since then I've run over 200 miles, which amounts to a total on-road time of over 36 hrs. I also cross-trained some by cycling -- almost 100 miles in a little over 8 1/2 hours total. It would have been more but I lost motivation for road-cycling after the first 2 months. But that's better than my last Half where I only cross-trained for one month. And, if you've followed me on FaceBook or you know me IRL, you know almost 95% of those 300 miles and 45 hours was in the dark, before sunrise.

Again I've been following the training plans in Marathoning for Mortals, and I feel strong. I feel ready. I'm hoping for a PR. I'm hoping to break the 2 hr mark. But really I'll be happy if I finish.

This time tomorrow I hope to be in the second-half of my 2nd "Half".

But I know a longer road lies ahead of me:

Running 13.1 twice in 6 months
is great, but it doesn't mean
I'm ready for 26.2
yet.

But it isn't October 2010 yet, so I don't have to be ready yet.
One day at a time, one mile at a time, one step at a time.

And first things first -- I still have a race to run tomorrow and I'll be out there rain or shine...

Pickin' 'em up and puttin' 'em down,

~ Keith

Reality

2010-01-02T12:48:00.008-08:00

On Monday August 27, 2007 I started my job as an RN Case Manager -- a home-visiting Hospice RN taking care of around 10-15 patients on a weekly basis. One week later, my dad died.

On Monday January 4, 2010 I will start my new job as an RN Clinical Manager -- supervising around 20 staff including RNs, Social Workers, Hospice Aides, and a Spiritual Care Coordinator who will collectively care for around 40-60 patients.

As I type this our 16 year-old cat Jack is sleeping next to me on the couch, but he is not well. He has declined rapidly over the last few weeks, and may not have more than a week left to live. We're hoping for more, of course, but also don't want him to suffer.

As I reflect, I can't help but see the parallels. Life is so good, so full of promise and potential. But then suddenly events outside my control converge and conflagrate, and life seems so much more tenuous; so fragile and mysterious, and all my questions go unanswered. Problems go unsolved. "Conclusions" seem, at best, elusive -- and at worst, evasive.

While sitting with Jack I've been reading a book recommended to me by my good friend Dave Kellogg. Dave was the High School Sports Editor for the San Jose Mercury News and for the past few years has been the Sports Editor at the Monterey Herald. He ran the Big Sur Marathon and blogged about his training. As a journalist and athlete, he's encouraging and upbeat...but he's also a realist. I'm enjoying the book he recommended: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami, who is a Japanese novelist (I'm reading the English translation of his book) and a long-distance runner with the experience of multiple marathons, triathlons, and even an ultra-marathon (100k = 62 miles).

With all that being said, here's the quote I want to share with you which ties it all together. Mr. Murakami is speaking of not finishing the New York City Marathon in his planned time -- how on race day his plans fell through and he never heard the Rocky theme song like he'd imagined. But he's also talking about life when he says:

At certain points in our lives, when we really need a solution, the person who knocks on our door is, more likely than not, a messenger bearing bad news. It isn't always the case, but from experience I'd say the gloomy reports far outnumber the others. The messenger touches his hand to his cap and looks apologetic, but that does nothing to improve the contents of the message. It isn't the messenger's fault. No good to blame him, no good to grab him by the collar and shake him. The messenger is just conscientiously doing the job his boss assigned him. And this boss? That would be none other than our old friend Reality.

He tells the story of his race training, and race plans, and race-day plan-execution...and has no clear answer for why he didn't reach his goal-time. But He doesn't let the failure or setback effect his stride in life. He doesn't let the lack of an obvious solution or "Conclusion" keep him off the road for too long. He keeps on running.

There's one thing, though, that I can state with confidence: until the feeling that I've done a good job on a race returns, I'm going to keep running marathons, and not let it get me down. Even when I grow old and feeble, when people warn me it's about time to throw in the towel, I won't care. As long as my body allows I'll keep on running. Even if my [race] time gets worse, I'll keep on putting in as much effort -- perhaps even more effort -- toward my goal of finishing [my next] marathon. I don't care what others say -- that's just my nature, the way I am. Like scorpions sting, cicadas cling to trees, salmon swim upstream to where they were born, and wild ducks mate for life.

I may not hear the Rocky theme song, or see the sunset anywhere, but for me...this may be a sort of conclusion. An understated, rainy-day-sneakers sort of conclusion. An anticlimax, if you will. Turn it into a screenplay, and the Hollywood producer would just glance at the last page and toss it back. But the long and the short of it is that this kind of a conclusion fits who I am.

What I mean is, I didn't start running because somebody asked me to become a runner. Just like I didn't become a novelist because someone asked me to. One day, out of the blue, I wanted to write a novel. And one day, out of the blue, I started to run -- simply because I wanted to.

I look up at the sky, wondering if I'll catch a glimpse of kindness there, but I don't. All I see are indifferent summer clouds drifting over the Pacific. And they have nothing to say to me. Clouds are always taciturn. I probably shouldn't be looking up at them. What I should be looking at is inside of me. Like staring down into a deep well. Can I see kindness there?

Mr. Muraki goes on and says "No" to his own question.

But I say "Yes" to mine.

I didn't become a Hospice Nurse because someone asked me to. One day in nursing school almost 15 years ago I watched a brief video on hospice care that has ended up changing my life -- because out of the blue I decided I wanted to help people facing the end of their lives stay as comfortable as possible, feel as loved as possible, and maintain as much dignity and self-determination as possible. So when I look inside -- into my well, I do see kindness: not only for others, but also for myself.

And, like Mr. Murakami, I don't run because someone asked me to become a runner. Today I am a runner because one day back in late May of 2008, out of the blue, I decided that I wanted to run. And as I've become a runner I've discovered another well inside me. This one has determination; stick-to-it-iveness I never knew was there. I found faithfulness that, like the kindness, can be for me too.

Jack has just hobbled up onto my lap, laid down, and started to purr.

And right now Monday morning's training run and new job responsibilities are an eternity away.

The mid-January half-marathon is past the horizon and the early October 2010 Portland Marathon (my first) is just a hopeful gleam in my eye.

Right now, for today, a warm purring cat on my lap is enough. I'm content. I really really am.

~ Keith

Happy Holidays

2009-11-21T10:20:00.003-08:00

I received an eMail recently, linking me to this YouTube video. The video seems to imply that being asked to say "Happy Holidays" is somehow offensive to Christians and we should stand up for our "right" to say "Merry Christmas" to people instead -- even if it offends them.

It made me think about a post I wrote back in 2005 -- so I am re-posting it here -- what do you all think?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I like Thanksgiving. I also like celebrating Christmas, and the start of a New Year. I also like learning about other cultures and traditions. Channukah, Kwanzaa, etc.

So am I the only one who doesn't really mind saying "Happy Holidays" to people?

I mean, sure, I'm a Christian and so for me the signifigance of Christmas is such that this one holiday is at the center of my holiday season. But I know that's not true for everyone.

Me wishing a "Merry Christmas" to people who don't celebrate it is like me saying "Happy Birthday!" to someone when it isn't their birthday -- isn't it? And isn't it rude for me to just assume that everyone I know thinks like I do, and celebrates the same things -- and isn't it even more rude for me to somehow imply they should, by making a big deal of only saying "Merry Christmas", or griping when an employer encourages the use of "Happy Holidays" instead?

And anyway -- aren't "holidays" really just "holy days" and if "holy" means (among other things) "set apart" and "special" then why all the fuss when employers encourage people not to say "Merry Christmas" and instead only "allow" them to say "Happy Holidays" -- isn't that a nicer thing to say anyway -- more inclusive?

Maybe it's just me.

~ Keith

Plate Spinning

2009-10-31T17:01:00.004-07:00

I had a sort of epiphany this morning while running. I like it when that happens. I'm running along and my mind is clearing out, and suddenly an idea pops into my head, so I start to play with it. Then, before I realize what's happened, I have a whole new outlook on something, because my perspective has been turned inside-out, in a really good way. These moments seem to happen more often when I run than at other times of the day.

This morning I was thinking about being stressed at work and had an inside-out-turning of my perspective that was really great. Before I share that with you, I have to let you a little deeper into my world so it'll be more meaningful.

In my job as a Hospice RN I have to stay flexible with a host of shifting priorities and that constant shifting is a major source of stress for me. I know many people face similar challenges, so let me share my unique situation.

My perfect day at work is when I am scheduled to see Mr. A, then Mr. B, then Ms. C, then Mrs. D, then go home, and that is exactly what happens. But it is rare. Usually it is very different.

Let's say it is Tuesday and I am scheduled to have the perfect day. But if Mrs. D calls in the morning saying she is having a problem, maybe I can help her over the phone, but maybe not -- I may need to see her first and reschedule the other patients. Or what if Mr. G calls and is having a problem? Now I need to see him today instead of Thursday, and that may mean bumping one of my other patients to a different day. Maybe I come to work and find that Mr. B died last night. I may not need to go to his home today, but maybe I will. At least I'll make a phone call, and offer emotional support. Or maybe I come to work and find a message on my Blackberry that Ms. N is going to be a new patient and it is my responsibility to introduce her to our services -- which means I'll need to dedicate 4+ hours to this process, which means shuffling other patients around...

You get the picture. Now let me complicate it further by telling you that on average I care for 10-13 patients at a time. And patients are people. And people who are facing life-shortening illness sometimes have changes happen quickly, and they need me to help them in those times.

I love helping people, but I hate it when my perfectly planned day gets tossed out the window -- whether that happens at 1:15pm or 8:15am.

When my schedule changes, I often grumble and complain inside, but then I feel bad about it because after all these are PEOPLE who are DYING I am dealing with, and I should be a better sport about the whole thing (especially since, HELLO!, I intentionally CHOSE to go into this line of work). So not only am I stressed about the shifting priorities but I feel bad about being stressed. Then I cut myself some slack and remind myself I'm human too, and as such I get the grace to be imperfect and have needs and faults.

So my priorities get shifted every day, and that stresses me because it feels as if I am being pulled in 15 different directions all at once. It feels like this:
Do you notice how he looks like he is having fun?

I don't get that.

Maybe that's because if he drops a plate all that happens is people laugh and he says "oops". But in my job the plates are people so if I drop a plate it is a much bigger deal. I don't like that possibility, so I'd rather deal with fewer plates at a time. See, if I could just have 4 plates today, then 4 plates tomorrow, I think I'd be OK (I'm probably wrong about that as well, but I digress...).

But I don't just have 4 plates today and 4 plates tomorrow. I have 13 plates all at one time. I can do my best to figure out which plates to help on any given day, but my reality is one of constantly being called upon to run from plate to plate keeping them all spinning.

Because of the nature of my work I know each patient will die, and on average this happens just about every 5 days. So every 5 days or so a plate is removed from my responsibilities, but that is hard on me because it usually happens just when I've grown fond of that particular plate and also just figured out how best to keep it spinning. And it also means that when I least expect it I will be told "Here you go -- another new plate to go figure out."

I have to pause here and say I really hope I don't sound callous. Each and every patient I care for has tremendous worth as a human being and I treasure the moments they allow me in to share their lives with them as they finish their journey here. Each patient is very special to me and referring to them as "plates" may seem discompassionate or even cavalier and I'm sorry for that. But I'm trying to help you understand my human heart and frailty as a person and how stressful my job can be. Because the more you understand how stressful my job can be, within the context of the spinning plates analogy, the more sense it will make to you when I go on now and tell you my epiphany.

There I was running along in the pre-dawn wondering what to do with the stress I feel from spinning plates, and in my mind's eye the imagery shifted, and turned all inside-out and bass-ackwards.

It went from this:
to this:
And suddenly I felt peaceful about it all. See, instead of me being the guy who is running from plate to plate trying to keep them all spinning...what if in reality I am. Just. One. Plate?

What if all I need to worry about it is keeping myself spinning by staying centered on that stick?

And that would imply each of my patients has a measure of responsibility for their own spinning. Yes, I have an important role to play, but really it is their journey, not mine.

It turns out I'm stressed because I take on a responsibility that is not mine to take!

Wow.

And then as I was reeling from that "A-ha!" moment, the image shifted a bit again...to this:
And it was another "A-Ha!" moment. See, the idea of keeping myself centered is good but horribly incomplete because,

the reality is
plates don't actually
have the ability
to spin themselves.

I don't have the capacity to keep myself centered. If I am the plate, then any "responsibility" I take -- any wiggling motion I do make to try and "keep myself centered" usually just makes things worse and the best thing to do is relax and choose to trust The One whose hand is down there keeping me spinning.

That removes a ton stress, and I can just be me and help people and not sweat the other stuff. And that is good for me, but it is also good for my patients, and my coworkers and my wife, and everybody! =O)

A guy from the 1st century called Paul understood this pretty well and wrote some stuff about it, if you want to read it here. I've read his comments before and thought I understood them, but today I got a personalized example and word-picture. Pretty cool huh?

~ Keith

Running Into Myself

2009-10-10T13:26:00.005-07:00

John "The Penguin" Bingham describes allowing running to change him into the person he wants to be, one step at a time. He calls this "running into myself".

I have seen this in my own life over the last 16 months since I started running in June 2008. My running shoes are now somewhat sacred to me, and I wear them only for running -- nothing else. When I lace them on, and head out the door, each kick-off is a step behind me and each new foot-plant is a new me, becoming. I've lost over 50 lbs, and my resting heart rate has gone from the high 70s to the mid- to high-40s. I just feel better. But more than that I feel more...

...myself.

I have to acknowledge that a part of it is the weight loss. When I look at my picture from 7th grade, I see a normal-weight kid who is happy and healthy and looking forward to life ahead. My 8th grade school picture is a photo of a pudgy kid*. I've spent most of my life looking into the mirror at the man who grew up from that pudgy, patently nonathletic, insecure kid from 8th grade. Now when I look into the mirror I see the man who grew up from the 7th grade kid.

Another nod to The Penguin: I'm an "adult onset athlete" and it feels good to be healthy. A friend (who will remain un-named -- but I've known him since 7th grade and looked up to him as an athletic person) recently said something like "I hope when I'm your age I'm that healthy. Wait...I am your age!"

That felt good, but wasn't as meaningful as it would have been 2 years ago. The 8th-grade pudgy kid in me would have given his left arm to hear someone say that. The 7th-grader in me today, though -- not so insecure -- laughed and acknowledged it, but moved on...and THAT felt good. Does that make sense?

So running has given me the benefit of becoming more the person I want to be. But insecurities and faults and flaws still live deep in me. Running is only one way to change me. There are others. Some of these can be pretty scary, but becoming a runner has given me the confidence to face new challenges more hopefully.

One other way to become more myself is to spend time alone in a small space -- where every time I turn around I (quite literally) keep "running into" my "self".

It was for this express purpose I recently went to a place in the Silver Falls area called CRC. I stayed in a tiny A-frame building called the "Prayer Hut".I took my bible and my journal and a couple books that have been helpful recently in digging into the depths of my self -- maybe that sounds narcissistic, but here's a story:

When I was a kid sometimes my dad would drive me places. I'd turn on the radio and he would turn it off. I'd turn it back on and he'd turn it back off. This would repeat a few times and finally he'd tell me to leave it off and then say something like:

"What's the matter?
Are you afraid of your own thoughts?"

And, well...I guess yeah I was, and still am sometimes. I look in the mirror and while the body is that of the grown-up 7th-grader still sometimes in the corner of my eye I see the lost-ness of the 8th-grader peering through and I wonder what it is like to be whole. Mark twain once said

"The worst kind of loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself"

So once in awhile I think it is important for me to turn off my cell phone, leave my laptop at home, and just get away from it all to be alone And. Just.

Be

With my self.

So recently I spent 3-4 days reading and writing in my journal and praying and really connecting with God on a deep deep level.

I sensed
The Maker of the Universe
look at me and smile
in simple unbridled
filial
and fraternal
and friendly
affection
and a sense of
life-purpose
and positive destiny

And you know what I re-learned? Far more than any person's complimentary remark, that love of God burning deep in my heart -- this is what makes my day.

On a bad day this is what lets me know everything will be OK. And this is what, on a good day, makes everything seem brighter and clearer and more alive.

Now I'm home again and re-plugged in. Life and work and community all go on and challenges and stresses have a way of rebuilding themselves. I can't live as a hermit, and so I run. When I run, I sometimes catch a glimpse of that love in my heart.

Some days running is just habit. Other days it is an exercise in self-denial. But on other days, it's like Eric Liddell says in Chariots of Fire: "When I run I sense God's pleasure".

To celebrate one year of running, in June 2008 I ran a half-marathon. It was preceded by 14 weeks of training, which was brutal but fulfilling -- and made the race itself less brutal and more fulfilling -- exhilarating, even. My goal is to run the Portland Marathon in October 2010. After that maybe someday I'll run a longer distance. It is symbolic of my race through life. Life is not a sprint. Things, like becoming myself, take time -- likely, the whole rest of my life.

So I run. As a Nike ad puts it, I run not because I am in a hurry, or because someone is chasing me.

I run just because.

I'm running a half-marathon in mid-January and my 14 weeks of training begins this Monday. I can't wait to get out on the roads at 5:30am, before the sunrise. Just God, and me, and my shoes hitting the pavement;

pickin' 'em up & puttin' 'em down.

Running into myself.~ Keith

* Sometimes I wonder "What happened to me between 7th and 8th grade?" I have some answers on that one, but that's another story, and really just for me and my journal. But here is a song that struck me today, and the overall message is right in line with how I feel inside when I wonder that wonder, and also right in line with why I run:

The Love That you Give
by Jeff Searles

These days I find myself
Wanting something that I lost
A long long time ago
Ghost of a memory that haunts me
The way that it was
A long long time ago

The Love that You give
Is the Love that I need
The Love that You give
Is the Love that I need

Lately I feel so empty
Trying so hard to fill up
Something inside of me
But I always miss the mark
And end up breaking apart
Something inside of me

And the Love that You give
Is the Love that I need
The Love that You give
Is the Love that I need
The Love that You give
Is the Love that I need

Dedications

2009-06-12T10:18:00.004-07:00

That's me. I'm the blurry guy in the orange shirt and bright-yellow hat in the left-edge of the picture. I'm finishing my final kick in my first ever 5k race.

I've been running for about a year now, and tomorrow I'm running my first ever half-marathon. 13.1 miles. They say the 13 miles are easy -- it's the 0.1 that's the killer. I started running partly to get in shape, partly as an exercise in self-denial, but mainly I did it for me. I've done so many things for other people -- and I'm not talking altruism, I'm talking people-pleasing for wrong reasons: trying to earn the approval of others. But running? I started that for *me* -- as a way to love and take care of myself.

Following tradition, at tomorrow's race I'm dedicating my miles:

Mile 0 --> 1: Me for getting there in the first place
Mile 1 --> 2: My wife Cathy for supporting me
Mile 2 --> 3: My friend Tom Bartel for inspiring me
Mile 3 --> 4: My Dad
Mile 4 --> 5: My Mom
Mile 5 --> 6: My sister Bobbi
Mile 6 --> 7: My sister JoAnn
Mile 7 --> 8: My sister Marilyn
Mile 8 --> 9: My sister Leslie
Mile 9 --> 10: Me for getting there!
Mile 10 --> 11: My friend Tom for inspiring me!!
Mile 11 --> 12: Cathy for supporting me!!!
Mile 12 --> 13: Me for getting there!!!!
and that last little bit from 13 --> 13.1: My final kick is for God who has created me and is giving me the ability to continue "running into myself"!

~ Keith

Am I Acceptable to God?

2009-05-23T09:59:00.005-07:00

I found this excellent post over on Inward/Outward. It re-centered me again to what is important. I think part of what I like most about it is that there are no "do it this way instead" prescriptions -- it is more stream of consciousness.

~ Keith

Effortlessly

2009-05-10T10:00:00.003-07:00

Sister Hazel is one of my favorite bands. Their album Chasing Daylight is classic. And this song is just about my favorite of all right now. It is where I'm at in life and loving it.

Effortlessly

I won't be so hard on me today
I start to take myself so seriously
Shouldn't be so hard just to be effortlessly
It shouldn't be so hard to keep it together
It shouldn't be so hard to say the right things to you
It shouldn't be so hard just to be effortlessly

Weightless worries fall away
Wasted pools of energy
I want to know I want to breathe

Effortlessly - just be
I want to be effortlessly
I want to be

It shouldn't be so hard to be inspired
It shouldn't be so hard just to write this song
It shouldn't be so hard to be wrong or to agree
It shouldn't be so hard to change the world
It shouldn't be so hard just to change your mind
It shouldn't be so hard just to be effortlessly

Weightless worries fall away
Wasted pools of energy
I want to know I want to breathe

Effortlessly - just be
I want to be effortlessly
I want to be

I won't be so hard on me today
I start to take myself so seriously
Shouldn't be so hard just to be effortlessly

Effortlessly
I want to know
I want to breathe
I want to simplify my needs
I want to live inside this moment
And just be effortlessly
Just be
I wanna be effortlessly
I want to be

~ Keith

Say Yes

2009-04-21T13:41:00.000-07:00

Hat tip to Jen Lemen

~ Keith

The Story Within the Story

2009-03-21T11:14:00.002-07:00

I am reposting this from Inward/Outward:

=-=-=-=-=

By David Wade

I no longer open my quarterly 401K reports. So much of my account’s value has been lost that if I were closer to retirement age the prospect of my working at McDonald’s into my 70’s would be unavoidable.

Despite all of the news coverage on the financial crisis, I feel a vital interpretive element has been missed. It has to do with the story within the story. It is often the story within a story that reveals a deeper truth about the whole. The overweening hubris of our nation’s top financial corporations, exemplified by the millions of dollars of bonuses issued with bail-out money, along with the other accustomed accouterments of the privileged, should really come as no surprise. History is papered with the overblown egos and Marie Antoinette-styled sensitivities of the rich.

Yet we are America. Our founding was driven, in part, by a reaction against European “blue-bloodedness.” George Washington was “first among equals.” This land is your land, this land is my land. Yet during the recent Presidential campaign, “socialist” was an epithet used to eviscerate any populist economic sentiment––mostly by people, aside from the unbelievably cynical news hounds who threw the term meatily to the masses, who have no idea what the term really implies. And while the lifestyles of the sharks of Wall Street are protected, labor unions are vilified and disempowered in the name of financial stability.

Who’s to blame? Who can be held to account for sleeping at the switch while our nation was plundered by robber barons?

We are. The church. We’ve failed our nation.

For the last 40 years, the American church has been dancing to the drum of political power. Paranoid and pliable, it has promoted the issues its masters have required. And in doing so, lost its prophetic vision—sold for a few seats at the table of kings. And to echo the words of Psalm 2, the powerful now just laugh at us for being so gullible. What a bunch of rubes! Get them to focus solely on abortion and homosexuality. Make these their major issues, get their leaders all lathered up, marching and praying, hateful and fearful. And we’ll plunder the coffers of the American Dream. We will run this nation any way we please––secular, misogynistic, violent, imperial. And the impotent Church will beg for scraps from our tables, grateful to receive a White House Christmas card.

We’re all to blame. Left and Right. We’ve all been caught up in the game. We’ve made clowns out of servants like Jeremiah Wright. Where was the Left to come to his defense? Silent. Where was the progressive church when Prop 8 was on the ballot in California? Defending Rick Warren’s right to deliver an over-eager Inaugural prayer. Politeness replacing prophecy. Political correctness replacing holy zeal. The Left has as much to answer for as the Right.

This is the story within the story––the news that’s not being reported. And thank goodness! How much more discredited does the church need to become? As a pastor, I say let it go all the way down. Megachurch marketing, Focus on the Family, prayer cabals at the White House and the Pentagon, the Rapture industry, let it all go.

And let’s start anew. Let’s find our voice again. With no strings attached. Let’s minister to the newly disenfranchised, the despondent, the truly left-behind. Let’s be the church in the street, on the assembly line, in the food stamp line. Let’s call new generations, young and old, to a transformational journey. Let’s abandon a false dream, and find the one nestled in God’s heart.

David Wade writes from his home in Virginia Beach, where he facilitates The Welcome Table on Saturday evenings at 6 in the chapel on the campus of Virginia Wesleyan College. He says, “We’re just a tiny piece, but, together, maybe we can find this new dream.” If you’re ever in the area, join them in the search.

=-=-=-=-=-=

What do you think?

~ Keith

True Discipline

2009-03-14T08:49:00.003-07:00

I just finished week 1 of a 14 week training program preparing me to run the Helvetia Half-Marathon on June 13. It was cold & windy -- drizzly. Today I felt faster, but also felt I was running harder -- maybe it was more difficult to slow down due to the wind and drizzle? Plus, this current week has been 30 min workouts (2 running, 2 cycling). Today was my "endurance" run of only 2 miles. Yet when I think back to a year ago, the idea of running 2 miles at all was out of my imagination, let alone running it @ a <9:30 pace! Was I running too hard? Maybe.

A book I recently read and thoroughly enjoyed is The Zen of Running by Fred Rohe. It is (c) 1972 and very hippie trippie -- but I liked it. A lot! Fred says:

your creation of you
as a runner
will be more pleasurable
as you progress
by running less

the key to the "progress by less" method
is always to do
less than you think you can.

if you think you can gallop right away
just take a walk.

thinking you can run around the block,
just run down to the corner.

you have the rest of your life
to progress into long distance running.
why strain, make pain?
why not lope along,
free and easy,
doing it like a dance?
when you start doing it
you'll see that running
is naturally hard enough
all by itself
without you creating
additional hardship for yourself.

This got me thinking about following my training program. I know I can run farther than 2 miles. But today I disciplined myself to only run 2 miles.

I used to think discipline was hard; doing something difficult because it is the right thing to do. But now I see true discipline is even harder; doing less because it is the right thing to do.Week 1 of 14 down. 13 to go -- one more week for every mile I'll run on June 13th.

~ Keith

Introversion & Extroversion: Recent Social Constructs?

2009-02-21T12:09:00.012-08:00

I read something yesterday which made me stop and think about our society's current views on the ideas of Introversion vs Extroversion. The book is The Great Emergence* by Phyllis Tickle. She writes this on p132:

"The twentieth century in the United States was characterized by many things, none of them more obvious than our originally slow, and eventually rapid, shift from being a rural to being an urban people. As the decades rolled along, more and more of us left the open spaces of pastures and plains for the defined ones of streets and neighborhoods. We laid aside as well the isolation and occasional socializing of country living for the constant companionship and unavoidable socializing of town and city life. Before the century's end, millions of us would not even be living in suburban neighborhoods any longer, but rather in the much tighter confines of apartment buildings or condo complexes or multifamily buildings. Likewise, instead of earning our livelihood in solitary or near-solitary labor, more and more of us were earning it in offices or factories or commercial enterprises where we were in constant and fairly intimate contact with one another for the bulk of every working day."

This made me think of some implications of her assertions.

Contrasted with the fast-paced image cuts of MTV and action-packed movies of today, old movies seem boring to some people. In fact, many people today have become so used to such fast-paced media bombardment many of us suffer from micro-boredom. You know, using your cell phone to check your eMail and update your status on Twitter and FaceBook, and check your MySpace...multiple times...in the unbearably long 5 minutes you spend standing in the checkout line at the grocery store! I do that. It is sort of addicting. It's why we call Blackberries "crackberries" and iPhones "crackphones" and FaceBook "crackbook".But all this activity sometimes wears me out. I like older movies because they move more slowly. I enjoy current movies as well -- but older movies don't bug me the way they seem to bug so many people. I'm neither an "old movies only" person nor a "new movies only" person. I like both-and instead of either-or.

Like many people I know, I dislike being labeled. Sometimes labels can be helpful, other times they can be too compartmentalizing. A good example is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

It is very either-or, but has a continuum between poles which helps the both-ands among us feel less pigeon-holed.

And all this made me think of a good friend of mine who is an extrovert. He is a year or two older than me and for his 40th birthday, his wife threw him a surprise party with 50-60 of his closest friends. He had a GREAT time and went on and on about how it was the best thing she'd ever done for him ever! I was at the party for a number of hours, and enjoyed myself, but stayed on the periphery. At one point I turned to my wife and said "For my 40th, please don't do this to me." She smiled, nodded, and said "Of course not!". She knows me. I like that.

On the right-hand side of this blog, if you scroll down, you will see that I score as an iNFj on Myers-Briggs. The letter "i" is lower case because my tendency to introversion is not strong. In fact, some people are surprised when they hear me say I am an introvert, because I am fairly gregarious. The key for me is long times spent with crowds of people drains my batteries, but when I am tired emotionally and spiritually, it is alone time which recharges my batteries.

Thinking backward in Ms. Tickle's time line, I wonder what my friend and I would have been like 100-150 years ago? Would he have been such an extrovert? Would I be so inclined to pull away and be alone? Perhaps the either-or-ness of the Myers-Briggs doesn't reflect true human nature and is instead more subtly influenced by the sociological changes in the recent 150 years than I originally thought.

So I wonder if the concepts of Introversion and Extroversion, as we know them today, are likewise fairly recent social constructs.

What do you think?

~ Keith

* I won't go into the details of why this is a wonderful book, but if you are a thoughtful follower of Jesus who would like a concise yet thorough historical perspective on how our current situation in Western / North American / U.S. Christianity fits into the bigger sociological context within world history you really do owe it to yourself to run out and buy it right now.

(this post is a documenting of a stream-of-thought which took around a minute to think through and over an hour to type up. It is a small example of what my friend Lisa calls "The Mind of Keith")

Personal Best

2009-02-07T10:28:00.004-08:00

In this post I blogged about my first-ever 10 mile run. It was awesome -- a 43rd birthday present to myself. It took me almost exactly 2 hours. That's a 12-minute mile. Since that time I've finished the 3rd 10-week Podrunner Intervals program and have progressed to running 10k (6.2 miles) in approx 60 minutes. I finished the book Running for Mortals.

I've now begun reading Marathoning for Mortals. I've set a goal for myself to run the Portland Marathon in October 2010 just before my 45th birthday.

Along the way, I want to run for fun and test my limits -- set new PBs "Personal Best"s. Today I did that. I ran 9.9 miles in 1:41:32 -- shaving almost 2 minutes off my per-mile pace!

Here's my route:
View Larger Map

~ Keith

PS -- for those, like Brett, who are curious: there is no particular significance to the fact that my routes start and stop near a cemetery. It's just where I happen to live! =O)

I Am A Runner

2009-02-01T12:52:00.005-08:00

I am a runner.
I never thought I'd say that. At least, I never thought I'd be able to say that with a shred of integrity. I can remember being around 5 or 6 years old, in the loft of our barn, running around. Not running laps, not exercising; just running around. I don't remember what imagination-laden scenario I was playing out. All I remember is running and playing. Things changed after that though.

Growing up I never saw myself as athletic because so many other kids were so much better. I can remember at school in P.E. class and assemblies and sporting events -- especially football and track -- noticing how other kids' bodies were changing. Muscles were growing and kids who'd been puny were now solid, with visible veins standing out on their arms. I wasn't puny any more either. You can see the difference between 7th grade skinny kid and 8th grade pudgy kid.

In 8th grade I wanted to have new friends and have a body like other kids did. I knew I wasn't fast enough for the track team, so I decided to try out for cross-country. We did lots of training runs and stuff. I remember the thrill of being at the end of the line and having to sprint to the front and yell "GO!" so the next back-of-the-line kid would have to sprint forward, and so on. I was breathless and tired, but I was doing something and it felt good. Until we did real races. Against ourselves or other teams, it didn't matter. I was always either last place or 2nd to last. As I watched the other kids' smooth-running bodies I felt "less than" again. Rather than a part of a team, I felt like a liability to the team. Shameful confessions time: At one race, I was tired and didn't want to continue, so I pretended to turn my ankle so I could quit. Another time, I pretended to have lime kicked into my eyes and in my faked blindness/pain I was once again excused from finishing.

That was the last time I ran competitively, unless you count the Navy where every year I had to run 1.5 miles in 15 minutes or less to pass a physical fitness test. I always did it, but also always came very close to puking.

I've never been a super active person, and my all-time high weight is 250# in Feb of 2002. I did WeightWatchers and got as low as 183# in mid 2003. But I put almost all the weight back on. Just like I always have as I've yo-yo'd over the years.

But then a couple years ago when I turned 40, something inside my heart clicked. I finally began to care about myself in a healthy way. Cathy'd been telling me for years I should take better care of myself -- I finally started listening. But it was a rocky start. I tried to run and lift weights and diet and all sorts of things but never really got anywhere but worn out and depressed.

Then we moved to Oregon in August '07 and it is like God brought my heart to life again. In Feb '08 I began learning from God how to listen to my hunger/satiety. By June I'd gone from 220# to 206#, and was feeling good. The way I eat now had nothing to do with what the scale said. The latter was simply a measure of the former -- but not a driving force like it used to be. But I also wanted to DO something active, just for fun and to help my cardiovascular system get healthy. So I started walking and running. I blogged here about finishing a 10-week training program and running a 5K. And then again here about finishing the 2nd 10-week training program and running 8K and then celebrating my 43rd birthday by running 10 miles!

Yesterday I completed the 3rd 10-week training series and can now run 10K in around 60 minutes. But there are no more 10-week training series. So what is next? I bought a book called Running for Mortals and have set my sights on running the Portland Marathon in Oct 2010. Between now and then I would like to run a half-marathon and also run a few local 5K or 10K races. This morning I read the first two chapters and cried 3 times.

The first tears hit me as I read this in the forward:

...we really learned everything we need to know about running before we even got to kindergarten. As soon as we learned how to walk we wanted to run. We knew as toddlers that the best way to get from where we were to where we wanted to be was to run there. It still is!
We knew as small children that running for no apparent reason at all was one of life's greatest pleasures. It still is.
The door would open, and we would run out. We ran around. We chased. We ran to and from. We ran until we couldn't run anymore, and then we stopped. That's still a pretty good plan.

It doesn't matter that I've lost 40# in 12 months. It doesn't matter that I am 43 years old and in the best shape of my life. It doesn't matter if I win any races, or even if I ever compete! What matters is that I have fallen in love again with the simple joy I first learned as that 5 year old boy in the loft of a barn -- just running because I could.

I am a runner.

~ Keith

Jesus Coaches Football

2009-01-15T11:04:00.002-08:00

I don't usually follow sports at all. I watch the SuperBowl for the commercials, and the chips & dip.

But Brant posted this article and I read it. And I want you to read it.

~ Keith

The Demands of Living Seriously

2008-12-13T08:51:00.003-08:00

By Thomas Merton (hat-tip to Inward/Outward)

A great deal of virtue and piety is simply the easy price we pay in order to justify a life that is essentially trifling. Nothing is so cheap as the evasion purchased by just enough good conduct to make one pass as a ’serious person.’

And when you come to look more deeply into our present condition you find that many forms of ’seriousness’ and ‘achievement’ come to this in the end. In our society, a society of business rooted in puritanism, based on a pseudo-ethic of industriousness and thrift, to be rewarded by comfort, pleasure, and a good bank account, the myth of work is thought to justify an existence that is essentially meaningless and futile.

There is, then, a great deal of busy-ness as people invent things to do when in fact there is very little to be done. Yet we are overwhelmed with jobs, duties, tasks, assignments, “missions” of every kind. At every moment we are sent north, south, east and west by the angels of business and art, poetry and politics, science and war, to the four corners of the universe to decide something, to sign something, to buy and sell. We fly in all directions to sell ourselves, thus justifying the absolute nothingness of our lives.

Some make it their business to cover their own emptiness by pointing out the fraudulency of others, but always the emphasis is on the fact that others have nevertheless done something, even though it was a matter of perpetrating a fraud. They have perpetrated something. And so the myth prospers. No matter how empty our lives become, we are always at least convinced that something is happening because, indeed, as we so often complain, too much is happening. There is so much to be done that we do not have time to live.

But it is precisely this idea that a serious life demands ‘time to live’ that is the root of our trifling. In reality, what we want is time in which to trifle and vegetate without feeling guilty about it. But because we do not dare try it, we precipitate ourselves into another kind of trifling: that which is not idle, but dissimulated as action.

Thomas Merton (1915-1968) was a writer and Trappist monk at Our Lady of Gethsemani Abbey in Kentucky. This piece is from his book, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander.

~ Keith

Spend Less, Love More

2008-12-06T09:50:00.001-08:00

~ Keith

How Will They Know We Are His Disciples?

2008-11-04T19:57:00.005-08:00

I'm sitting on the couch watching the 2008 Presidential Election Coverage on PBS. Jim Lehrer just announced that California & Florida have just been "called" and it appears Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the United States.

But I'm here to tell you why, in a very real way, it doesn't matter who won.

I've never thought of myself as "centrist" per se, but I find myself in the unique position where about 1/2 the people I know and care about have been supporting John McCain. The other half have been supporting Barack Obama. That is no big deal to me. What floors me is this: the McCain supporters have been saying really mean-spirited things about those who support Obama. The Obama supporters have been saying arrogantly smug and hurtful things to and about those who support McCain.

It has been the most divisive time I've seen
especially amongst people who say
they are followers of Jesus,
and this saddens me.

As we move forward in one country on one planet, here are some thoughts on why it does not matter who won: we are all still called to (a) support the government, the authority under which God has placed us, and (b) defer to one another in love, promoting unity instead of division. For more on that, I refer you to Paul of Tarsus' letter to the followers of Jesus living in Rome. If you read chapters 13-15, the message is clear: our call is to love one another and support one another and find places of unity instead of spouting vitriol.

Are you someone who had been supporting Obama? Rejoice in his victory, yes. But mourn with those who mourn and show respect and love for your brothers and sisters who supported McCain. Please don't say "I told you so" or anything like it and hurt those whom Jesus loves.

Are you someone who had been supporting McCain? Mourn his defeat, yes. But rejoice with those who rejoice and show respect and love for your brothers and sisters who supported Obama. Please don't grow bitter or say malignant things about those whom Jesus loves.

In his concession speech in Arizona, John McCain said of President-Elect Obama: "I pledge my part to do everything in my power to aid him. I urge all Americans who supported me...to find ways to come together...whatever our differences."

The world is watching and it would be a tremendous shame if we as followers of Jesus living in America allowed the current divisiveness to get any worse. Rather, wouldn't it be wonderful to see unity and love for one another reigning in our hearts. After all, Jesus Himself said

"They'll know you are my followers by this:
when you love one another."

Peace,

~ Keith

Miles & Stones

2008-11-01T08:43:00.005-07:00

Today's blog post is a milestone. This image calls to mind a story of the ancient people of Israel. They were crossing a border together for the final time before settling in a new land. They took stones and stacked them to form a monument -- a milestone. When future generations saw the stones and asked about them, parents would have an opportunity to tell the story of how God provided and led them to a safe place in a new land. This blog post marks a special day in my story, and is an opportunity for me to give credit where credit is due and thank God for enabling me and leading me safely into a new land, figuratively and literally.Today is a milestone day. It is not my first birthday back in Oregon, but it feels manifestly more significant for some reason. Perhaps because it is my first birthday after really settling in here.

Today is, in fact, my 43rd birthday. I mention the number because to some people (not me!) that seems old. =O) I began celebrating this morning by going for a long run before sunrise.

About 10 weeks ago, I blogged about the Interval Training Program I have been using to reach my short-term goal of getting into better shape and my long-term goal of developing a lasting habit of regular aerobic exercise. I've now been running 3 times a week for the past 20 weeks! I've lost 19 lbs and have learned some things about myself and about running. Yesterday I finished the 10th week in the 2nd series, and am looking forward to beginning the 3rd 10-week series on Monday morning.

Today is also a milestone day in my physical fitness level. When I was in my late 20s (back when fewer people than today thought I was "old") I had begun to run after school, and while I never really enjoyed it per se, I did it. My main route at the time was around 3-4 miles, and once during that season of my life I went for a "long" run and went just under 10 miles -- or so I remembered until today. Here is my route from that day back in 1992:
View Larger MapAccording to Google Maps, that route is only 5.8 miles. Still a good run, but not quite as long as I had remembered.

This is significant to me today because my intent in going for a run this morning was to do another 10 mile-run, 16 years later. Here is my route from today:
View Larger MapAccording to Google Maps, it is 10.1 miles.

This means I am in better shape today than I was when I was 27 and in college. I've weighed less than I do today, but right now is the best physical condition I've ever experienced in terms of stamina and stick-to-it-iveness.

Another year has now passed. This birthday holds a special feeling, having come home to Oregon. Running has become a good habit, and I ran more than 10 miles today (making more than 25 miles for the week!). No surprise to me, then, that today is the 1st of November -- long seen by celtic cultures as a liminal day; a crossing-over day.

~ Keith

Why I Do What I Do

2008-10-16T09:17:00.004-07:00

The company I work for, Willamette Valley Hospice recently completed a project called "Faces of Hospice" which was written up in Salem's newspaper. I'm including the link below, and hope you will take a moment or two to read the brief article. There is also a short video. Together these offer a glimpse into the incredibly rewarding world I've been working in for the past year.

Since he gave his permission to publish his name I can also tell you one of the featured patients (pictured above), was Mr. Walter Bowden,a man I had the honor of caring for in his last 6 months.

To read the article and view the video, you can click here. I've also inculded the video here:

I'm so thankful for the encouragement so many of you have given me in my work and the move to Oregon to begin this next chapter of my career.

Warmly,

~ Keith

What Does "Pro-Life" Really Mean?

2008-10-08T10:58:00.006-07:00

What does the term "Pro-Life" mean to you?

For a long time now, there seem to have been only two camps: "Pro-Life" and "Pro-Choice" (or, depending on which camp you're in, those translate to "Right-Wing Religious Wacko" or "Baby Killer"). I think, though, that being "Pro-Life" is a much more far-reaching term...or should be!

Some years ago I decided to leave the world of Two-Party Politics. I was tired of the dichotomies I see in each party on this issue of valuing life. The Republican Party says "Abortion is murder" but out the other side of the elephant's mouth comes the phrase "Capital Punishment is OK!". On the other hand, the Democratic Party says "We have to defend a woman's right to choose!" but out the other side of the donkey's mouth comes the statement "Capital Punishment is murder!"

Today I give a respectful hat tip to one of my heroes, Rose for this (pdf) link to a wonderful synopsis of what "Pro-Life" really means. I encourage you to go read that link, then come back here and read the poem I was inspired to write this morning. I also wonder what you think of it all? What does "pro life" mean to you?

Seed splits open;
life sprouts from within;
mystery becomes mystery.

We are,
all of us,
powerful beyond measure;
able to achieve so much
on behalf of
those who are voiceless
No matter what age they are,
no matter what they've done,
no matter what:
we all matter.

because

We are,
all of us,
valuable beyond measure;
unique and irreplaceable.
No matter what age we are,
no matter what we've done,
no matter what:
we all matter.

Seed falls to the ground;
death becomes life;
from mystery to mystery.

~ Keith

Autumn at The Orchard

2008-09-20T11:10:00.002-07:00

Autumn is here with its crisp cool mornings and early twilight.

I think of Autumn as a season of nesting and readying for hibernation; of pruning back and storing up. In order to store, one must harvest. Autumn is about bringing in the fruits of the year's labors, to sustain one's family through the winter. Autumn is for gently removing bulbs from the ground and placing them in warm safe pots so they can be replanted and bloom again next spring. Outwardly, autumn seems a dormant time. Inwardly, preparation work teems at the cellular level.

Recently we received our official release paperwork, affiliating The Orchard with the AVC. We'll be applying for our non-profit status in Oregon, and Federal 501(c)(3) status, speaking with potential board members, figuring out by-laws, State & Federal regulations, trademark agreements and liability insurance.

All of this is necessary work, but it is also secondary -- the deep, cellular work of formation is continuing right on schedule. We're not driven onward by goals and agendas and two-year plans. We're drawn forward gently by the Voice of The Master Who speaks to us of purpose and potential; of hearth and home.

Autumn is here with its golden-leaved changes, layered-warmth walkings, and hope-filled ponderings.

~ Keith

Honorable Anniversary

2008-09-06T08:12:00.003-07:00

25 years ago today I joined the United States Navy. Can you find me in this picture?19 years ago today, I was handed one of the most important documents ever -- it even says so right at the top!~ Keith

The Discipline of Self-Denial

2008-08-22T16:18:00.004-07:00

I've blogged a few times re: my fitness level. Usually I do this after overeating and feeling depressed, or just before I start some new diet or exercise program. Then I feel bad when I don't follow through.

This time I waited until I was done!

For the past 10 weeks, I have been following an interval training program I found online:It has been a very challenging time, but this morning I finished their introductory program:As a graduation present I am going out tonight and buying new running shoes!

The cool thing is, while I have lost weight and do feel better, my motivation was not to lose weight or feel better -- those were really just byproducts.

So why am I doing this? I am doing this because I love Cathy and I want to take care of myself for her sake.

It is also, therefore, an excellent exercise in self-denial and discipline. You see, I don't really like running. I would much rather stay in bed and sleep. But in denying my own desires, and instead intentionally doing something for someone else, I am putting myself in touch with the attitude Jesus has. Maybe my self-denial in this area will help me put others first in my neighborhood, or my workplace, or in other areas of my life as well. That is my hope.

And in looking back at the last 10 weeks, I see I have reached a new level of discipline. When I was in the Navy (25 years ago!), "Boot Camp" was 8 weeks long, and it was the hardest physical activity I'd ever done. The endurance test at the end of the 8th week was running 1.5 miles in 15 minutes or less.

As of today, I have been exercising aerobically for 30+ minutes, first thing in the morning, three times per week, for 10 weeks straight! In fact, for the past 3 weeks, I have run a full 5k every Monday, Wednesday and Friday!

Aside from feeling good physically, I feel good emotionally -- about the ability I apparently do have to become more disciplined. I honestly didn't think I had it in me, and have surprised myself. What has kept me going is my love for Cathy and as I set out on my warm-up walk each time, I reflect on the self-denial aspect and ask God to strengthen me to be more like Jesus. If the past 10 weeks are any indicator, He does answer prayer and He does what He says.

Now -- do you think I am jinxing myself if I tell you that on Monday I plan on going to the next level?~ Keith

Summer Ride

2008-08-17T13:42:00.005-07:00

Here is my route from today's ride.

View Larger Map

And as an added bonus, I rolled 15,000 miles -- that's 4,300 miles since I bought her in Nov '06!

~ Keith

Wordle

2008-08-02T08:45:00.006-07:00

My blog as a wordle. ht to Jon.

~ Keith

PS -- I love how the words-in-proximity say:

"church sharing love models leadership" and how "ouch" is so close by.

N is Here

2008-07-25T15:58:00.000-07:00

" />

~ Keith

Vulnerability Trumps Insecurity

2008-06-28T08:25:00.008-07:00

Some time ago, I had reviewed my bogging practices and noticed I had been way too revealing (of my and my wife's private life) in a public setting. I think blogs are a good way to share a bit of one's private life -- but I also think there is a limit. Some stuff just goes in my journal -- other stuff can go on a blog. There is sometimes a fine line between which goes where. This line is determined by each individual blogger. I contemplated my own fine lines in No More Blogging In My Underwear.

This morning I read the following in Celtic Daily Prayer:

It is because of the refusal to be vulnerable that, far too often, instead of enjoying friendship and intimacy with those around us, we find ourselves fencing with each other, using our talents, achievements, and strengths as weapons. To be vulnerable in the true sense does not mean that someone must become a doormat, a weakling, devoid of all pride, going out of his way to let others know all of his faults and weaknesses. Nor is vulnerability to be confused with the idea of 'letting-it-all-hang-out', or any other form of psychological strip-tease. To be vulnerable is to be strong enough to be able to present ourselves without false props, without an artificial display of our credentials. In brief, to be vulnerable is to be strong enough to be honest and tender. Like Jesus, the person who is vulnerable is a person who cares enough to let himself be weak, precisely because he does care.
~ Ronald Rolheiser, The Restless Heart

This was refreshing for me to read and reflect upon.

In the past, I am sad to say, my vulnerability was tied to my insecurity and desire to be liked. I thought perhaps if I was transparent enough people would be impressed by my vulnerability and therefore respect me as a very spiritual person. I wore my vulnerability like a badge of honor for others to see -- in a weirldy ironic (and oxymoronic?) borrowing from Rolheiser's imagery, it was as if I used my ability to be transparent as a weapon for fencing.

In Rolheiser's comment I see a new and better way. Since the time of my previous post mentioned above, I like to think I have begun to emulate this; that I care enough about the person with whom I am sharing that I will actually share the real me. But not in an attempt to prove anything or win any awards. It is not about me being liked by them: it is not about me. It is about the other person being cared about enough by me that I am able to, for their sake, not hide myself.
~ Keith

A Bee on my Belly

2008-05-31T16:38:00.004-07:00

I took a ride today with a friend from work. We cruised from Salem down some back roads to Albany, where we had a great burger at the Callapooia Brewing Company. Then we headed East of Hwy 5 and went North through the four "S" towns: Scio, Stayton, Sublimity, and Silverton.

About 5 miles before Silverton, I felt something smack my neck, and it hurt bad enough I wondered if I'd been hit by a rock. My glove came away dry (yea, no blood) so I blew it off. About 2 minutes later, I felt a pinch on my belly. Thinking a belly-hair was being tweaked by a fold in my shirt or something, I used my left hand to shift my jacket around. More pinching. That was when it dawned on me -- OMG A BEE FLEW DOWN MY JACKET!!!

I quickly got the (lame!) idea to try and kill the bee by smashing it against my belly. I know, I know, it was a lame idea. I already acknowledged that. So now I've got pretty much constant pinching as this stupid bee is waging a solo war against my belly flab (yes, yes, you can call it a battle of the bulge, ha ha, aren't you funny to have thought of that -- hey, I"M IN PAIN HERE!!!).

It settled down a bit and I thought maybe it had finally died. Just in case, I tried to keep my body as still as possible. But every bump (ouch) and turn (ouch) that made my body move (ouch) at all (ouch) brought a new onslaught from little Mister-I-Refuse-To-Die inside my jacket. As we pulled in to Silverton it had been a few minutes since the last sting and I thought the miniature militiabee had finally gone on to the great bee poppy-fields in the sky. Dave was in front, having no idea why I blew past him at a stop sign and made a quick turn into the nearest safe parking spot. I quickly got my gloves and helmet off, and got my hand ready to catch the bee as it fell.

No bee. Or so I thought until

OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

The very much not-yet-deceased tiny titan wasn't in my jacket -- it was under my shirt, and he was angry as ever! I quickly untucked my shirt and out dropped the smallest bee I've ever seen. Seriously, the thing was small! I swear to you an adolescent housefly could've kicked this thing's butt. It was this miniscule bee and as he fell, he put out his wings...and flew victoriously into the afternoon.

I took a few deep breaths and let the willies subside, then we mounted back up to finish our ride. On the way home, we passed (no lie) Bee Road. And as we did, I remembered getting a txt from Cathy this morning before I left, which said "have fun, and beee safe." I had chalked that up to a typo before. Now I think maybe God was trying to warn me or something.

Word to the wise: if you think you have a bee in your jacket, stop as soon as safely possible and deal with it -- or you will suffer its wrath.

Still and all, it was a good ride. I went a little under 103 miles, and filled my tank with a little over 2 gallons -- 48+ mpg. Not bad for a 20yr old bike that needs a tune-up and is battling a slow oil leak!

If you are interested, you can view our full route on Google Maps here.

~ Keith

A Saucer full of Leadership

2008-05-02T10:22:00.012-07:00

Over the years, I've done a lot of thinking about, and been involved in various levels of leadership -- in a variety of settings, from military to the workplace, to the church. I'm no expert, but I had an "Aha!" moment this morning as I was reading and it made me want to journal my thoughts on leadership, and then finish by sharing with you the quote I read which was so great.

In the church, a typical model of leadership, borrowing from corporate structure, looks like this:Since this model implies dominance by those "in charge of" or "over" other people, and since Jesus exemplified and taught a different model, another example is this:
Either of these images make sense within the context of a growing organization but, while the second is certainly different from the first on paper, it does not always look different in practice. In either model the more people there are in the organization, the more pressure there is on the pastor to be-all and do-all. For health, both models need to follow the advice Moses received from his father-in-law.

But in the Pastor as Servant Leader model, even with various levels of leadership, the heaviest weight still rests squarely on the shoulders of one person, requiring the mythic strength of Atlas.In describing the influence of leadership, noted Leadership Expert John Maxwell uses this word-picture:

"A gentle leaf drifts slowly to the waters surface - it gracefully steps on the tranquil pond and as if timed by a masterful conductor, ripples radiate from the leaf across the water. Such a gentle touch - but noticeable, felt results. A leader's touch - no matter how small - yields the same effect. Like falling dominoes, the effect of a leader's influence creates a chain reaction which reverberates throughout an organization."

While that analogy is valid (and certainly picturesque), I disagree with his sound-byte assertion: "Everything rises and falls on leadership".

I think a more apt paraphrase of Jesus' message about leadership would be:

Everything rises and falls on Love.

You can lead without loving,
but if you truly love people
then as a natural result
they will be led to Me.

I still think the advice Moses got from his father-in-law was right though: as an organization grows, more structural support is needed.

Cathy & I have set out together on an adventure of starting a community of faith called The Orchard within the greater context of our experiences in the Vineyard movement (so, yes, you could say we are "planting a church").

But what if I don't want to start and grow an organization? What if, instead, I want to foster the growth of an organism -- a living breathing changing thing that has a life of its own? I believe this is how communities of faith -- how churches -- are supposed to be. When a child is conceived, it starts out very small; just a couple cells. As the child grows, the various structures grow and stretch and transform in exactly the ways they need to in order to support the overall life of the child. Bones thicken and harden; tissues lengthen and stretch; organs and body systems become more complex -- yet lose none of their simplistic elegance in actual functionality.

A few years ago I became more and more unsatisfied with the shortcomings of both the models for leadership given above. I began seeing instead a new image as a way to help me understand this idea of growth combined with a leader being the starting point for a foundation of loving leadership:
As the organism (or organization) grows, there is still influential leadership which supports the overall life. This is not a "leaderless" system. But unlike "Pastor as CEO", this model does not set the Pastor up as an autocratic, albeit benevolent, ruler of his/her own small kingdom. And unlike "Pastor as Servant leader" this new model does not see the Pastor bearing the crushing weight of trying to fill a be-all end-all savior/messiah role. Instead, in the model of "Pastor as Start of Foundation", any and all organism growth sees the Pastor naturally sharing more and more with a growing foundation of loving people among whom the overall weight of responsible leadership is distributed.

This has been my view of the kind of leadership I want to exemplify. As a leader I want to foster growth in others of whatever God has planted within them so that as a community we can each/all then give away those gifts to the world around us as a way of expressing God's love and care to everyone with whom we have any relationship or passing contact.

Here was my "Aha!" moment:

This morning I read something which moved me beyond the triangular, pyramidal models I've been talking about so far. I love this quote from Celtic Daily Prayer:

"BE HELPFUL WHEN YOU ARE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LADDER AND BE THE LOWEST WHEN YOU ARE IN AUTHORITY
Too many of our models for authority are ones of hierarchy or domination. We think of rulers and leaders as those who are over other people and supported by them. Instead of a pyramid model where the few dominate the many, in God's Kingdom it is more helpful to picture a huge saucer into which is thrown all the people of God in all their giftedness, from the least to the greatest. Those more strongly gifted for ministry will not rise to the top, but sink to the bottom where they may undergird and provoke the rest of the people of God.

One true example of Christian humility was King Oswald of Northumbria who himself willingly worked as an interpreter for Aidan so that his people might receive the gospel."

As I shared this with Cathy, she pointed out to me how King Oswald had been a living example of Jesus Himself, who willingly set aside His Kingship and in order to faithfully translate the good news into incarnational language we could understand and receive.

May I be fortunate enough to be counted among those who let go of what the rest of the world sees as important in order to reach for the fullness of whatever God has placed inside me to give away to Him and to those He loves so dearly.

~ Keith

The Truth is There is No Spoon

2008-04-22T14:47:00.004-07:00


Néo (Matrix) : 79%
Maximus (Gladiator) : 73%
James Bond : 71%
Tony Montana (Scarface) : 71%
Batman / Bruce Wayne : 68%
Indiana Jones : 67%
Yoda (Star Wars) : 63%
Forrest Gump : 63%
Schrek : 58%

Which Film Hero Are You?
~ Keith

House Pictures -- at last!

2008-04-19T13:35:00.006-07:00

When we moved to Oregon in August of 2007, we rented a duplex for a few months. We bought our house in mid-December and received the keys just in time for Christmas. We took some time to have some painting and floor refinishing done (by professionals, not by us!) and we moved into the house in early February. It took some time to get settled and hang pictures, etc. The dust still hasn't fully settled, but we're as close as we're going to get for awhile. So, for all those who've been patiently waiting, here are some pictures of the our house. For the detail-oriented, it is a 2700 sqft 4BR/2BA, built in 1950, on 1/3 acre.To see these in a slower and/or larger format, you can click any photo, or for a larger slideshow just click here.

~ Keith

Homelessness and Being Like jesus

2008-03-20T19:32:00.002-07:00

When I grow up I want to be like my friend Jon Reid, because he is like Jesus -- specifically the way he loves the people most of us wouldn't even want to get close to. In his blog he recently posted two articles about his interactions with homeless people. Homeless Adventure #1 and Homeless Adventure #2.

~ Keith

Spring Brings Life

2008-03-20T19:27:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was the vernal equinox.

Now it is Spring.

The world around us is alive with color and sound as buds open and small birds move in for the season. Amidst this activity it is easy to get caught up in the busyness of the world around us, and bow to the tyranny of the urgent.

This morning I was reminded of a better way:

The world gives itself
up to incessant activity
merely because
it knows of nothing
better.
The inspired man
works among
its whirring wheels
also; but he knows
whither the wheels
are going,
for he has found
the centre
where all is
stillness...

~ Paul Brunton

~ Keith

So I Stay Near the Door

2008-03-01T18:56:00.004-08:00

I stay near the door.
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out,
The door is the most important door in the world—
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There’s no use my going way inside, and staying there,
When so many are still outside, and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where a door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men.
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it . . .
So I stay near the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for men to find that door—the door to God.
The most important thing any man can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands,
And put it on the latch—the latch that only clicks
And opens to the man’s own touch.
Men die outside that door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter—
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live, on the other side of it—
live because they have found it.
Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him . . .
So I stay near the door.

Go in, great saints, go all the way in—
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics—
In a vast, roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms,
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in,
Sometimes venture a little farther;
But my place seems closer to the opening . . .
So I stay near the door.

The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving—preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door,
But would like to run away. So for them, too,
I stay near the door.

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not even found the door,
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply, and stay in too long,
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him, and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.
Where? Outside the door—
Thousands of them, millions of them.
But—more important for me—
One of them, two of them, ten of them,
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch,
So I shall stay by the door and wait
For those who seek it.
‘I had rather be a door-keeper . . .’
So I stay near the door.

~ Samuel Moor Shoemaker

~ Keith

Why I Might Say I'm Not A Christian

2008-02-08T15:38:00.000-08:00

There are people living on the island of Mindanao in The Philippines who are followers of Jesus, and they hold worship services in a mosque. They don't call themselves Christians. They instead call themselves "Muslim followers of Issah" because if they identified themselves with the term "Christian" they would be persecuted or killed. They are not afraid of this: they are not ashamed of Christ; they are ashamed of His followers who have ruined His reputation.

In America there are people who follow Jesus, but they don't call themselves Christians. They are also ashamed of those who ruin Christ's reputation and so they instead call themselves "Followers of Christ" because if they identified themselves with the term "Christian", they might not be persecuted or killed, it could be worse -- they might get ignored.

Jesus' followers are called to (among other things) act as change-agents, offering a new life and hope to those who are trapped and weary. Problem is, in American culture the word "Christian" has become loaded with so many negative stereotypes. Its literal meaning is "Christ-like" or "Little Christ" but so many people have come to see "Christian" as synonymous with (at best) namby-pamby, goodie-two-shoes, irrelevant prudes or (at worst) hate-filled holier-than-thou hypocrites.

I heard an old song this morning that re-captivated my heart for what it means to follow Jesus:

Multiply Your Love
by Andy Park

Multiply Your love through us
To the lost and the least
Let us be Your healing hands
Your instruments of peace

May our single purpose be
To imitate Your life
Through our simple words and deeds
Let love be multiplied

Multiply Your love through me
To someone in need
Help me Lord to freely give
This grace that I've received

Let my single purpose be
To imitate Your life
Through my simple words and deeds
Let love be multiplied

Let us see Your kingdom come
To the poor and broken ones
Let us see a mighty flood
Of justice and mercy, O Jesus
Let love be multiplied
Let love be multiplied

Multiply Your church through us
To the ends of the Earth
Where there's only barrenness
Let us see new birth

Use us as Your laborers
Working side by side
Let us see Your harvest come
Let love be multiplied

Then this afternoon I stumbled across some videos. The first 6 are parodies of the Mac vs PC commercials. As a person who uses both Macs and PCs but prefers Macs, I have to confess I see myself in both halves of these commercials -- and sadly I see myself in both halves of the below videos as well. The last video is not a parody of the commercial. It is somewhat similar, but more hard-hitting and direct, like quickly tearing off a band-aid (or getting sucker punched in the gut).

They are all funny because they hit so close to home. They are also poignant for the same reason. (ye be forewarned)

~ Keith

Letter from Birmingham Jail

2008-01-17T14:09:00.000-08:00

A friend recently eMailed me a portion of Dr. King's Letter from Birmingham Jail. In preparation for Monday's celebration of Dr. King's life and work, reading this letter has made me more aware of the world and how best to live.

On April 3, 1963 Martin Luther King called for all lunch counters, restrooms, and drinking fountains in Birmingham to be desegregated. Some called the city the most segregated city in the country. Its bombings and torchings of black churches and homes had given it the name “Bombingham.” That day sixty-five African Americans staged sit-ins in five stores, and the Police Commissioner dragged twenty of them away to jail.

On April 13, 1963, Good Friday, King and his team refused to follow a court injunction that forbade peaceful marching. King met the barricades and knelt beside his friend Ralph Abernathy, and was taken to the Birmingham City Jail. This was the 13th time King was arrested.

He was put in solitary confinement without mattress, pillow, or blanket. His situation improved when Attorney General Robert Kennedy asked why he was in solitary confinement. On Tuesday, April 16 he was brought a published letter signed by eight white clergymen of Alabama, criticizing King and the peaceful movement of demonstrations. King felt inspired to write a response.

What came from his pen is today called Letter from Birmingham Jail. It has been called “the most eloquent and learned expression of the goals and philosophy of the nonviolent movement ever written.” (Let the Trumpet Sound, Stephen B. Oates, 1994.)

The white clergy had all said: Be more patient. Wait. Don’t demonstrate. He wrote in response:

Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of segregation to say, “Wait.” But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policeman curse, kick, and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your 20 million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six-year-old daughter why she cannot go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she’s told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five-year-old son who is asking, “Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?”; when you take a cross-country drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by nagging signs reading “white” and “colored”; when your first name becomes “Nigger,” your middle name becomes “boy” (however old you are) and your last name becomes “John,” and your wife and mother are never given the respected title “Mrs.”; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and are plagued with inner fears and outer resentments; when you are for ever fighting a degenerating sense of “nobodiness” -- then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair. I hope sirs, you can understand our legitimate and unavoidable impatience.

Finally he delivered a powerful call to the church which rings as true today as it did 40 years ago:

There was a time when the church was very powerful—in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. . . . But the judgment of God is upon the church [today] as never before. If today’s church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the 20th century.

You can download the whole letter as a pdf from Stanford here or read more online here.

~ Keith

Chased by Promises

2008-01-13T08:19:00.000-08:00

Eighteen hours ago I was driving home from a Vineyard Pastor's Retreat. It was raining really hard, but up ahead there was a break in the clouds. So I was driving in pouring rain, but looking at blue skies. In my rearview mirror I noticed something cool - a rainbow was there. Right. THERE! Like, the picture above, only all I could see was rainbow out my back window. And it was travelling with me -- chasing me. I don't know how long it was there before I noticed it.

The bible says the rainbow is a promise that God won't wipe us out in another flood (which was comforting, considering the amount of rain I was driving in!).

At the retreat, God really met me and reminded me of some promises He's made to me over the years -- promises I think I'd largely forgotten but, like the rainbow, they've been chasing me down all along.

As I type this I've had only 1 hour of sleep. I was on-call from midnight to 8 am and was out caring for families whose loved ones were dying. I saw three patients: one who did not die, one who died while I was there in their home with them and their family, and one who died before I arrived. I think that completeness of possibilities is poetic somehow.

On very little sleep, and on foggy roads, I was kept safe -- I was not wiped out by a flood or anything else. And now I'm going to sleep.

As I head to dreamland, the sun is out. I can't see the rainbow anymore but I will rest well, knowing I am still

chased by promises

~ Keith

Jesus' Campaign Promises

2007-12-29T08:55:00.000-08:00

In my favourite newsreader, I have a search set up for the word "Jesus" -- just to see what the media is saying. Lately there have been a lot of stories about nativity scenes being vandalized. This morning, though, I came across an article from the Athens Banner-Herald called Playing the Jesus Card can cut many ways. It was written by William McKenzie, an editorial columnist for The Dallas Morning News.

Mr. McKenzie makes some provocative statements and the article is well-worth the read. Here's an excerpt:

We voters better watch out when candidates play the Jesus Card. The child born in a manger turned out to be a radical figure. And his message can take us in demanding, unpredictable directions.

For example, there's that hard command to love your enemies. How would the professing candidates abide by that charge? Shouldn't we ask whether that dictum will affect how they deal with the opposition party on Capitol Hill? With Iran? And if it will affect them, how so?

Then there's the fact that Jesus spent much of his ministry challenging his day's religious establishment. Wow, that could create mighty big sparks if any of these candidates really played the Jesus Card.

Mr. McKenzie's final thoughts say it all:

Let's not boil Jesus down to the candidate of the left, right or middle. Let's remember that the child born in a manger was too complicated for that.

~ Keith

Views From My Office Window

2007-12-26T18:44:00.000-08:00

I'm a Home Hospice RN and I spend all day
driving around rural Oregon.
This is what I see from my window.
~ Keith

White Christmas 2007

2007-12-25T11:21:00.000-08:00

~ Keith

Merry Keysmas

2007-12-21T17:09:00.001-08:00

At 4pm Pacific Time today, recorded in Marion County, Oregon: Keith & Cathy Seckel are the new owners of a spacious home with an even more spacious yard. Address change cards are forthcoming.

Merry Christmas indeed!

~ Keith

I'm Old

2007-12-06T08:07:00.000-08:00

When I was two years old, I had surgery on my right eye (that's OD for those who care) and I wore a patch for awhile -- over my good eye, to strengthen the weaker one. I've worn glasses ever since then.

Yesterday I passed a milemarker: I got old: I now wear bifocals.

The cool thing is, I don't mind. I like the idea of getting older -- I am finally starting to feel like an adult (at least on the outside). It is a new adventure in every part of my life: driving, reading, walking down stairs, anything that involves my eyes.

~ Keith

Readability

2007-11-19T08:11:00.000-08:00

Saw this over at Lynda's blog and decided to check it out.

Get a Cash Advance

I don't know if I should be bummed that my writing is so juvenile, or happy that my blog is so readable.

I guess I'll choose the latter.

~ Keith

Gossamer

2007-10-28T09:59:00.000-07:00

Washing dishes
Tiny spots of food
Stick to the plate
Jet nozzles blast fiercely
Water drops mercilessly pelt
And
Stuff stays stuck
Yet
Ever-so-lightly touching it
Single fingertip barely brushing
WHOOSH
Away it goes

I wonder

How can something so tough
So resilient
Be
At the same time,
So very fragile?

Autumn's rainy arrival
Spiders' webbed bridges everywhereWinds blow fiercely
Large drops mercilessly pelt
And
Gossamer strands
Hold firm
Yet
Ever-so-lightly touching it
Fingertips barely brushing
WHOOSH
Away it goes

Still I wonder

How can something so tough
So resilient
Be
At the same time,
So very fragile?

Two Hospice admissions
Two patients so similar
Family dynamics blow fiercely
Disease symptoms mercilessly pelt
And
Two gossamer lives
Hold firm
Yet
Ever-so-lightly touching it
Divine Fingertips barely brushing
And
WHOOSH
One life goes away
But
Temporarily
Miraculously
One life lingers

Again I wonder

How something
So very fragile
Can
At the same time
Be
So unbelievably tough
So amazingly resilient?

~ Keith

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.

Crackberry

2007-10-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

My job as a Home Hospice Nurse has me driving all over the boonies in Polk County, Oregon. All of the 100+ folks on staff here carry a Blackberry 7250, and we are constantly in communication via eMail -- I get around 40-50 eMails a day on it, and I'm new here, so it will go up as I get more busy.

It is also my work cell phone, and our company has an unlimited data plan, so my Blackberry also carries my gMail, Google Maps, Google News, and Google Search apps, plus access to WeatherUnderground and 2 push-messages a day from AccuWeather. Yes, I'm a geek, but it is also handy to know what weather to expect as I am driving around in it all -- especially as the rains have now hit hard, and winter is still over two months away.

It is really nice to be out and about in a new area, and have the world at my fingertips. As such, I now use it even when I am off duty. I have become "that guy" with the holster on his belt. No, I have not stooped to wearing black socks with white tennis shoes or wearing a belt with shorts -- and I've never worn socks with sandals.

But I am now gloriously, hideously, happily addicted to having it with me at all times.

It is, indeed, my Crackberry.

~ Keith

Even When Bad Ideas Seem Good...

2007-09-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

...they are still bad ideas.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
has long been a favorite movie of mine.

But this is so true...
~ Keith

The Glory of Bedpans

2007-09-06T10:34:00.000-07:00

...religion is totally integrated into all that we do and think, but never forced on anyone. It is there, largely without words. Florence Nightingale, I think, is the one who said "You should carry the bedpan for the glory of God." Many would prefer to say, "I'll carry it for the dignity of man." But, you know, the two belong together.
~ Dame Cicely Saunders

~ Keith

Quotation from The Moment of Truth: Care of the Dying Person -- full bibliography here

Anger & Depression

2007-09-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

Sometimes well-meaning people respond to someone else's grief by trying to give advice.

When that happens I want to respond in grace, knowing they meant well and trying to believe the best about them. That's fine, on one level -- I don't want to be mean to people who are trying to help and comfort me...

But I know myself and in making more grace for others at this time in my life, I run the risk of placing myself in a position of trying to be the nice person for them when I am the one hurting. That is not healthy for me. This is a season where it is OK for me to be overly sensitive.

So instead, I'm allowing myself to feel the anger and depression and sense of abandonment when people...just. don't. get it.

If you're trying to think of how to relate to me at the moment, please allow me to give some advice of my own. Left to me, I would use profanity and offend you, so instead I'll use the words borrowed from someone who can express it more eloquently than I can right now:

Now Is The Time For Tears
by Charlie Peacock

Now is the time for tears
Don't speak
Save your words
There's nothing you could say
To take this pain away
Don't try so hard
You can just simply be
Cry with me don't try to fix me friend
That's how you'll comfort me

Heavenly Father cover this child with mercy
You are my helper through this time of trial and pain
Silence the lips of the people with all of the answers
Gently show them now is the time
Now is the time
Now is the time for tears

~ Keith

Orphaned

2007-09-03T10:14:00.001-07:00

Joseph Clarence Seckel
13th April 1930 -- 3rd September 2007

My dad died this morning. He was 77.

Two pieces of irony:

Today is Labor Day. My mom died on Memorial Day in 2002.
One week ago today, I started work at a Home Hospice agency.

Weird.

My sister says he was not in a bunch of distress, and was in good hands when he died. It was his heart.

So now my sisters & I are orphans. Here's a picture of me and my dad and some other family at breakfast a couple weeks ago. I'm glad I got the chance to see him.

I'm also glad that now my parents are together again.

Lots of happy memories.

But mainly I miss my dad~ Keith

2-Up!

2007-08-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

Today we did a little loop around our area -- on the motorcycle!I call these "Simpson's Clouds" =O)A nice local orchard, on a winding country road.

And here's our route.

~ Keith

Technology Time Limits

2007-08-25T10:09:00.000-07:00

This is an Apple iBook battery. I've shown it small here because mine seems to be lasting a shorter and shorter amount of time. Only about 90 minutes at this point.

But maybe that is a good thing. Maybe it would be good for me to only use my laptop until its battery is flat, and then sign off until it is recharged.

I just got a warning saying I have 1 minute before my iBook goes to sleep whether I want it to or not. I could choose to go plug it in and sit there and type. Instead I'll choose to go do something else!

I guess a technology fast doesn't have to be total abstention.

A Sunny day awaits,

~ Keith

Road Trip: Detroit Lake

2007-08-23T09:17:00.000-07:00

Here is my bike all loaded when I arrived on Monday afternoon -- sorry it is a little dark. I didn't have time to tinker with the camera settings since I was too busy getting rained on!I filled the tank before leaving, and when I got there. Once more after a ride on Tuesday, and a last time when I got home on Wednesday. If I did my math right, I averaged over 53 mpg! Not bad for a fully loaded bike on the highway!

Here is camp all set up with things hanging to dry once the rain let up.Note the brightness of my reflective gear in the flash -- even my gloves drying on the rack by the fire! And here I am, happy to be there and done with the set-up. I wasn't dry yet, but I was on the way!On Monday afternoon, the lake was gloomy and foreboding -- kinda cool looking!Tuesday dawned clear and warm, yea! I went for a ride to see some of the national forest nearby:
I was hoping to get to Olallie lake (some of the signage is a bit nonstandard, put up by folks who don't work for the ODOT!):I rode about 34 of the 37 miles there, only to come to a sign that said "pavement ends" -- not wanting to brave 3 miles of hilly gravel roads, I simply turned around and headed back. Bummer.

Tuesday night I had a nice fire, and let it burn down to rich coals. I wish the picture did it justice. There's nothing quite like getting away from it all, and watching something like this for a few hours instead of a TV.After the coals died, I went out by the lake at around 11:30 pm. The sky was clear, and as I let my eyes adjust, I was amazed at the canopy of stars. It was dry enough to tinker with my camera settings, but I couldn't get the exposure right, so unfortunately I have no pictures of the night sky to share with you. I sure wish I could though!

On Wednesday -- another warm day, yea! -- I broke camp. As I was packing things up, I saw this:That's my sleeping bag, and the bright green is the air mattress. Beyond that is the door to the tent, and my watch on the floor of the tent. See it? Right there at the seam between the door and the floor? Here's a closer look, with my watchface in the foreground for perspective:I don't know if my impromptu roommate had been there all night, or if he'd come in at 3 am when I went to use the little camper's room, or if he had only been in there for the 5 minutes or so since I opened the tent flap to the world around me. Anyway you slice it it was pretty freaky. Normally I follow the catch-and-release policy with spiders, but this guy freaked me out a little too much. Look at the little spiky-pointed ends to his legs! I offed him with the edge of my flip-flop, and he made a loud sickening crrrrr-RUNCH as his exoskeleton crumpled. Here he is squashed, with my breakfast next to him for perspective. Two of his legs actually snapped off!Whoa!

This is my bike all packed up and getting ready to ride home on Wednesday.My trip back was uneventful, and I stopped at the DMV on the way home to get my Oregon license plate.

All in all it was a good trip. You can see the rest of the pictures here

~ Keith

PS -- for the serious inquirer's who just have to know, here is my route, and here are a few close up shots of how I attached things:

First Rain

2007-08-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

awakened a-listening
constantly intrusive whitewaternoise
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhing
droppingdrummingdroning

cold wood cold cement cold feet
garageview
sparkling silvering shimmering
shivering

stepping out stepping under stepping in
face upturned arms upheld
spirit uplifted
2:48 am baptism

kevin joins david & paul
& three-in-one singing in my head:

the natural things
speak of the invisible
look around and see
who could deny the wonders
of His love

standing dripping
reminded refreshed renewed
reborn Oregonian
in the
first rain
~ Keith

Oregon Weather

2007-08-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

We've been here almost two weeks now, and the daily high temperature has been in the mid-high 70s to mid-low 80s. It hasn't been bright and sunny all day every day, but we've had quite a bit of sun! We've only had a very light sprinkle or two, but Autumn is on it's way, and I'm ready for some weather!

Where we lived in California, "a chance of showers" meant "it's going to be cloudy" and as for the rain, it meant "there is a chance it will rain either somewhere else or overnight -- so don't plan on enjoying it, nyah nyah nyah!" =O(

Growing up here in Oregon, I remember the forecast always included a specific %chance of rain if they thought it would rain at all! The old standing jokes were:

In Oregon we have two seasons:
warm wet, and cold wet.

and

Last year 2,762 Oregonians fell off their bicycles
and drowned.

To get acquainted with the new forecasting vocabulary here in Salem, I went to a few weather sites online. Here's how the weather continuum shapes up:

Sunny
Mostly Sunny
Partly Sunny
Partly Cloudy
Mostly Cloudy
Cloudy
(...and keep in mind any of the above might be days that are in the mid-50s or the mid-80s, depending on the time of year -- and any of the above might also have a %chance of rain listed!)

~ Keith

Perspectives on Gas Prices

2007-08-16T10:14:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time back in 1985, I was leaving Orlando, Florida on my way to Saratoga Springs, New York. On my way out of town I stopped to fill my tank with Regular (as in leaded gas!) and was bummed that it had gone over $1* per gallon. I told myself to quit whining since people in Europe were paying almost $3 per gallon!

Recently I was leaving Redwood City, California on my way to Salem, Oregon. On my way out of town I stopped to fill my tank with Regular (as in 87 octane) and was actually pleased to only pay $3.05 per gallon.

Yesterday I drove past a gas station here and was amazed and surprised...it's like two deals in one! ...and someone else pumps the gas for me!
~ Keith

* as a side note -- what is it with gas prices always ending in 9/10 of a cent? If you're charging me $2.65 9/10 per gallon, why not just charge me $2.66? Sheesh!

OK, side note done -- go back to reading up above where you were.

Goodbye. Hello.

2007-08-15T11:46:00.000-07:00

You can click on any of these to see the whole album, or watch the slide shows right here.

Here are some pictures of our send-off from Spine,

and Vineyard,

and also of our trip to the Portland Zoo,

and The Oregon Garden!

~ Keith

So Long Stanford

2007-08-01T08:12:00.001-07:00

Today is my last day at Stanford. I've worked here for over 9 years, and have been in my current job for over 6.

I started at Stanford on 28th June, 1998. I was a new grad RN and was thrilled to work for such a world-class hospital, in such a beautiful setting. I mean, just look at it -- it looks like something from a Disneyland Hotel brochure!I started out on C3 -- the Orthopaedics Med/Surg unit. I was taken in and shown the ropes by some great nurses and nurse's aides.

In February of 2000 I transferred to Stanford Home Care. Due to financial shortfalls, the department closed. I was disappointed since I was hoping to move into the Hospice) division at some point.

I started working at the Spine Center in April of 2001, and have loved (almost) every minute of it.

When I left the Navy in 1989, I'd been in for 6 years. I'd done a variety of jobs in a variety of places, but 6 years for a 23 year-old -- that was over 25% of my life!

Now I've been in this one particular job over 6 years, and have been at Stanford over 9 years!

It's the end of an era.

~ Keith

Through Being Cool

2007-07-31T14:07:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: I did not write this.
I read this today on BEST OF CraigsList

Originally Posted: Fri, 6 Jul 09:16 EDT

Through being cool

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2007-07-06, 9:16AM EDT

I grew up in Australia. Australian men generally accept masculinity far better than American men, and I understand why this is. In every country on earth where boys play, there is a ritual of selecting members of each team, whether the game is soccer, cricket, football, baseball, kickball, mammoth-hunting, what have you. Most boys, at some time, have experienced the humiliation of being picked last, and it hurts. Even being picked second-last is much more tolerable than being picked last. It hurts— what is important, and culturally distinct, is how the boy deals with that pain and humiliation, when he's the one picked last.

In Australia, boys strive to be an asset to the team that picks them. They actually care more about how their team does than how they feel. This isn't ego annihilation, and it's not fascism. While playing the game, the game is what's important, not one's own petty issues. If a boy can table his own issues sufficiently to make a good catch, or kick a goal, he'll get picked sooner next time. He knows this. It's a question of priorities: the team wants to win, and they will pick those kids who will make it more likely that their team will win. How each individual feels during this process is irrelevant to the overall goal. Be dependable, be an asset to the team, and the rest of the team will take care of you.

In Australia, there is the concept of mates. The word loosely translates as "friend", but the truth is that Americans lack the concept completely. Your mate has your back, and you have his. Your mates help define you, and accept you unconditionally. Once you're in, you're in for life. It's not easy to get in. When I was nine, I had a kid who used to annoy me mercilessly on the playground. One day, I had had enough of his picking on me, and I knocked him over with a punch. He got up, shook himself off, and shook my hand. "We're having a party this weekend. Here's where it is."

I was still really angry, and I didn't immediately understand what he was doing. He wanted to know that I would stick up for myself when provoked. He needed to know if, after he was my mate, I'd stand up for him. Once he found out that I'd stand up for myself, I was in. At that party, everyone there treated me like a mate, and I felt more included than I ever did before, and I never got selected last for any game again at that school.

American boys don't have this. The best have a much weaker version of this, but the commitment is conditional and halting, the bonds constantly tested by vicious games of conformity and obedience. Maybe men at war have the real thing, but I have no experience of this. Coming back to the USA, I had to teach my male friends to be mates, and it never came naturally to any of my new friends. I have American mates now, some of whom I've been friends with for twenty years, but it took an enormous amount of work, and included really rocky periods, and a lot of struggle. New people I meet, especially younger people, have no understanding of what it means to be a mate. Friendships, especially among young people, are temporary, fleeting, strategic. They exist in order to jockey for social position. American men seem treacherous, insecure, and ungrounded in comparison to Aussie men. It's killing us as a society. It's one of the great tragedies of our time.

When an American boy gets picked last at a game on the playground, he gives up on ever being selected by the other boys, except last. He retreats into self-pity and misanthropy. This is encouraged by the adults, especially his parents, doubly especially when his dad made the same choices about being picked last himself. This boy tries to create a new playing field where he is the top of the selection. Because he knows he cannot compete on the playing field, he tries to compete in intellectual pursuits, or in a fantasy world, or in fandom. He collects comic books, or plays Dungeons & Dragons, or plays video games. Maybe he learns science, or literature, or art, or music. It never occurs to him to strive to improve himself, to make himself an asset to the team that might choose him. It never occurs to him that a drama is unfolding on a level bigger than that of his individual ego.

When adolescence hits, this boy tries to be cool. He creates a new pecking order based around musical taste, or fashion, or obscure knowledge. He tries out for the school play, or joins the debate team, or starts a band, or joins the school's literary magazine, and tries to win approval through his creativity and intelligence. There is nothing inherently wrong with seeking approval through these channels, but the boy still has a chip on his shoulder about rejection. He strives to create not merely a new selection where he is on top, but a new selection where the kids who are successful at the old games are rejected here. He seeks to be even crueler than he thinks those other kids are— to cut them down before they can hurt him again. He doesn't realize that being rejected from the alternative he has just created doesn't hurt at all, really. His ego depends upon being top of some pecking order, even an imaginary one, and he will viciously defend his new status, especially by being cruel to those who are lower down on his new pecking order. He becomes an asshole, but it's everyone else's fault but his.

Ultimately, this is what it means to be cool, to be indie, to be avant-garde, to be hip. As a young punk rocker, I was saved from this insanity because I grew up in a small town where weirdos got their asses beat. In order to be weird, you had to band together and watch each other's backs. We had to trust each other in a fight, or we'd all get stomped. It was ugly, it was nasty, and it was exhausting, but at the end of the day, you really knew who your friends were. A realistic selection sprung up based on whether you were worth saving when everyone got jumped by rednecks. You sized up new potential friends for their value in dragging you out from under a half dozen pairs of steel-toed Doc Martins when the Nazi skinheads broke up your hardcore show. (I like traditional skinheads, but the Nazi skins suck ass). When the bored, redneck small-town cops harassed us for being weird, you needed to know your friends had your back when you split up and ran.

The point is that every boy and every man needs to know his friends chose him. It's hard-wired into our brains. We need to know that we were worth picking, that we're valued for what we contribute to the people around us. We need it in our jobs, in our friendships, and in our relationships. Those boys and men who never get chosen, who never become the people anyone would want on their side, are damaged goods. They're not really cool, they're undeveloped. No tattoo or piercing, no leather jacket or pair of glasses, no boots or records or novels or comic books or mp3s or posters or t-shirts; no commodity of any kind is going to make a pair of balls occur where they wouldn't anyway.

We live in an advertising culture where we are constantly told that the only thing that stands between our current state and wholeness is a particular commodity. It's the central lie of our culture, and the people who hate mainstream culture the most seem to cling to this lie the most intensely. Notice how many "alternative" people define their non-conformity by how readily they conform to an alternate standard? How they buy objects that articulate their rebellion for them? It has become so ingrained in our culture that the current crop of teenagers makes no distinction between consumption and expression. They are frustrated that consumption alienates them from their own feelings and desires, but they express that frustration by consuming more commodities. It's a vicious circle. Let go. Quit being cool.

Location: Somerville
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~ Keith

Two Saplings are Planted

2007-07-27T20:51:00.000-07:00

We are like trees.
Writer, poet, and leader in the Emergent church movement Mark Scandrette captures this idea very well in his book Soul Graffiti: Making a Life in The Way of Jesus:

To sustain life, a tree must stay both rooted in the soil and open to the energy of sunlight and carbon dioxide. If a tree is cut or pulled out of the soil, where it draws water and nutrients, it will eventually die. Similarly, if a tree is shielded from the radiance of the sun it will eventually wither away. The life of a tree is an apt metaphor for...making a life in the way of Jesus. To see the Creator's genesis-vision fulfilled in our lives we need to be both rooted in the soil of our humanity, people, and place and open to the transcendent energy of God.

The dirt of life in the here and now provides the nutrients to cultivate a life with God. We also need exposure to the Spirit of God surrounding us. Jesus demonstrated a life that was grounded in humanity and struggle and open to the energy and breadth of God. We find him in the marketplace caring for the needs of people and on the mountainside connecting with the eternal Father. His life was an example of dynamic unity and synergy between the pursuit to love God and everything that God has made. And this is the life we are being invited into.

I'm excited to announce a new blog which will chronicle our adventures in the pacific northwest:

The Orchard~ Keith

Light, Poetry & Prayer

2007-07-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

Ring the bells that still can ring,
forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
that's how the light gets in.

Poetry is just the evidence of life.
If your life is burning well,
poetry is just the ash.

Prayer is translation.
A man translates himself into
a child asking for all there is
in a language he has barely mastered.

~ Leonard Cohen